By Request
by klswhite
Summary: A series of completely unrelated chapters inspired by songs in my Robbie & Laura playlist. Completely nonsensical and fluff, might even go M from time to time. I don't own any of these characters if I did...well you know what would happen.
1. Chapter 1

**Just the Way You Are**

 **There is absolutely no plot line for this. It will be a series of random stories inspired by my Robbie & Laura playlist. The time lines will shift, some will be AU, some will be from her perspective or vice versa. I don't guarantee a regular update cycle, just when inspiration strikes me.**

 **The first edition covers 2 episodes. We start with Music to Die For and then jump over to Ramblin Boy.**

The knock at his door came at a good time. He was done with his dinner and beginning to brood. It was James with a last piece of the puzzle. Robbie was still astounded that one piece of mail, with an inadvertent stamp had set off this string of murders.

He was even more astounded that it had been Ann Kriel. A woman he'd found attractive. But for an interruption would have taken to bed.

Watching James change the CD, he tried to push the thoughts away. James plopped onto the sofa next to him. The hammering guitar from Thin Lizzy filled the room. "Sometimes, Hathaway, I worry about your taste in music."

"Sometimes, Inspector Lewis, I worry about your taste in women."

Robbie nodded, amazed as always by his insight, "I'll drink to that." They clinked glasses, "Prost."

James repeated the toast and they sat back to drink. An hour later, James was gone. Robbie's mind was still unsettled. He debated opening another beer, then thought briefly about going to bed. He knew neither of those was a good idea.

Realizing how noisy his thoughts were, he searched for something to calm them. When Val was alive, he'd always talked to her when he got like this. His gaze lingered on her photo placed front and center on the bookcase, if he couldn't calm his thoughts perhaps he could replace them with a feeling he was familiar with. He waited for the sadness to overtake him, surprised when it didn't engulf him.

Talking was what he needed, he reached for the phone, thinking to call Lyn. Then he remembered she was working the late shift at the hospital. Toying with his phone, he smiled. There was someone else who always calmed his mind.

Scrolling through his contacts, he found her name – Laura. He pressed the button to connect the call. It rang four times before dropping into voicemail, "Laura, it's Robbie. You already know that…anyway, I was just calling to chat. It's late and you are probably asleep or you probably have a life and are out living it. No need to call me back. I'll see you around."

He ended the call, shaking his head at his rambling message. She was going to think he was a lunatic. Deciding he'd done enough damage for one evening he headed for his bedroom. Sleep would likely be elusive but a book might keep the unrest at bay.

Just as he started to unbutton his shirt, his phone chirped. " _Just finishing at a crime scene. Buy a girl a drink?"_

Perhaps the book could wait, " _When and where._ "

* * *

She'd met him at the pub. It was crowded and noisy and didn't seem to fit either of their moods. It had only taken them a moment to silently agree a walk might be more to their liking. He watched her from the corner of his eye.

Her hair was wet, she didn't appear to have on any makeup. There was no artifice to her at all. Unbidden, he compared her to Ann Kriel. He knew it was unfair. They were different people.

Before he could think about it, he blurted out a question, "What makes you so confident?"

She looked up at him, curious, "Confident?"

He shrugged, unsure how to ask the question. "Here you are, rather late in the evening. Your hair is wet, you don't have on any makeup and it doesn't bother you. That suggests a level of confidence I'm not sure most women possess."

She laughed, finally understanding his odd question. "Alternatively, it could suggest that I don't see you as a sexual partner so why bother impressing you."

His step faltered, not sure why her words, even though he knew she was joking, hurt so much. "I wasn't…"

"Or maybe I know you don't consider me as a potential sexual partner so I don't try." Seeing his discomfort she pushed a bit harder, "Or perhaps, I don't like men."

Finally catching on to her teasing, he laughed, relaxing for the first time this evening. "It's probably that first one."

She smiled, bumping his arm lightly, "You so easily discount me preferring women."

"I know you date and I know you date men, Laura." They walked in easy silence, "All joking aside…"

"I discovered a long time ago people will either like you or they won't. So I would much prefer they like me just the way I am. Sometimes that involves fixed hair and makeup and sometimes it's straight from the shower after leaving a rather disgusting crime scene."

Images of her in a shower, filled his mind. It wasn't the first time he'd thought of her in a less than professional manner. He realized she hadn't disagreed with his comment that it was the first reason she'd given. She wouldn't be interested in him, he was too old, too…

"Robbie, are you ok?"

He smiled down at her, "Sorry, lost in my own thoughts."

"Penny for them."

His thoughts of her in the shower flashed through his mind, "Just this case."

"Ann Kriel?" He looked down at her, trying to discern her meaning. She shrugged, "I know you; you have a type."

"A type?"

She nodded, "All of the women you've been interested in since you came back have been of the high maintenance type. Damsels in distress who need a big, bad police man to protect them. How are the rest of us to compete?"

He laughed, "There's not exactly been a line out the door."

"But there have been a few. And you have to admit, they've all been a bit needy." Smirking she looked up at him under her lashes, "And homicidal."

"You're not going to let me live this down are you?"

"Not anytime soon."

"What about you, any homicidal, needy men hanging around?"

He missed her quick look away, only seeing her noncommittal shrug, "Here and there. No one to write home about."

"What do you look for in a man?"

"I already told you, someone who likes me just the way I am."

"That seems very simple, you're very easy to like."

She smiled to herself, "Are you flirting with me, Inspector Lewis?"

Again, his step faltered, then he realized he didn't care if she thought he was flirting, in fact, he rather liked the idea of it. If she wasn't interested in him, what was the harm in flirting? "And if I am?"

Smiling up at him, "Who knows, I might just flirt back. What's a little harmless flirting between friends who aren't interested in each other as sexual partners?"

* * *

He made it home, later than he probably should have. But he found his mind was at ease. If he was honest, he was always at ease with Laura. She never pushed him to be someone he wasn't, simply accepted him as he was.

As he brushed his teeth, he thought about her theory on dating. There was something to it. Why go through all of the artifice, someone either liked you or they didn't. Every successful relationship in his life was proof of that. Now he just needed to find someone who liked him just the way he was.

* * *

He walked along the river, lost in his own mind, thinking back to his conversation with Louise Cornish. As painful as it had been, perhaps losing Val the way he had was better than what she was going through. Knowing the person you loved didn't love you any longer had to be worse.

Staring out at the river, his thoughts were drawn to Laura. They often were these days. He was tired of the one step forward, two steps back nature of their relationship. Turning to head back to his car, he walked past a man who waved at someone in the distance. The man seemed eager to be meeting whoever it was. He missed that feeling, knowing there was someone who accepted you, someone you were eager to be with, someone who love you just the way you were.

As he rounded the curve, he couldn't help but look back, needed to see who the man was so eager to see. It was like being kicked. The eager man was eagerly meeting Laura. He watched them, unobserved, for a moment, secretly thrilled that she didn't seem as eager as the man. Perhaps the eager man didn't accept her just the way she was.

* * *

The doctor had finally released him, he was exhausted and just wanted to get home and take a shower. Pushing through the doors, he was mentally cataloguing what there might be to eat at his house when he realized he didn't have a car.

He shook his head, turning to head to A&E. There was a better than average chance a patrol car would be there and he could get a ride home.

"Robbie."

He turned, surprised at her voice, "Laura, what are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you." She gave him an incredulous look, "You don't have a car."

He laughed, "I just realized that."

"And I bet you are hungry and don't have much at your place."

He looked down sheepishly, "Guilty on all counts. How long have you been here?"

She shrugged, "A couple of hours."

He took a step closer to her, "You didn't have to."

"I know, I wanted to." She looked down, worried she had revealed too much, "Besides, you owe me a curry."

"So it's free food, not concern for me that has you here."

She smiled, "30% free food."

Taking another step toward her, "And the other 70%?"

Tilting her head, she smiled at him sadly, of course he didn't get it. "Are you going to make me say it?"

Knowing exactly what she wasn't saying, he took her hand, "Not right now."

She squeezed his hand, linking their hands together. "Care to get out of here?"

* * *

They walked in silence to her car. Each lost thought, each realizing they'd crossed some kind of line.

Laura clicked the fob on her key ring, letting them both into the car. They each settled in, fastening safety belts and Laura started the car. Silence settled in the car as she drove.

Robbie recognized the route and turned to her, "Are you taking me to your place?"

She nodded, shyly, keeping her eyes on the road. "I picked up a few things from your place." Feeling him tense across the car, she continued, "I was worried they might keep you overnight."

"That explains getting me a bag but why are you taking me to your house. The doctors have released me."

"You don't have any food."

"We could go out."

She shook her head, "I'll cook; you can spend the night. That way if you start feeling bad, there's a doctor around."

Sitting back in his seat, he smiled, "I can't argue with that logic."

Laura turned up the radio, effectively ending conversation. Robbie closed his eyes, letting the music wash over him, relaxing him deeper into the seat. As Laura was parking in her driveway, the words to the song registered in his mind.

 _I don't want clever conversation_  
 _I never want to work that hard_  
 _I just want someone that I can talk to_  
 _I want you just the way you are._

 _As she shut off the engine, he tur_ ned to her. "Laura, it's true you know."

Not daring to look at him, she kept her hands on the steering will, "What's true?"

"The song, I do want you, just the way you are."

 **And that is where I leave you. The song is Billy Joel's** ** _Just the Way You Are_** **.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Must Be Doing Something Right**

 **The infamous chicken dinner.**

 **Robbie's Story**

His apartment was spotless, cleaner than it had been in months. The new pillows were on display, the new towels clean and hanging in the bathroom. A chicken was roasting in the oven. By all accounts, everything was as it should be and yet he was nervous.

They'd been on this trajectory for a long time. They both knew what tonight was about, even without discussing it. If he thought too much about it, he wasn't really sure what she saw in him. He was vastly older, came with enough emotional baggage for three people. Yet, she'd waited for him. Seen him through the worst of his grief and remained steadfastly at his side.

He thought about the past few weeks. Their dates which had been much like every other time they'd been to dinner except at the end he'd been able to kiss her. Each night those kisses became more passionate, harder to stop.

Three nights ago, he'd finally broken down and asked her to his place for dinner. No specific words had been spoken but it was implicitly understood she would spend the night. That the kisses wouldn't stop.

Now, here he was, pacing his apartment, wondering if he'd made the right decision. Surely, she was much more experienced than he. Not that he thought her promiscuous but he'd spent 25 years with the same person. There had been a few before Val but no one since. Not that there hadn't been offers, it just never felt right.

Would he be able to please her? Would she be disappointed? A buzzing from the kitchen froze his thoughts. He pulled the chicken from the oven, unsure if it looked right. His cooking skills were limited at best. Oh, he could manage a fry up and he was the master of the pierce and ping. But a real meal was stretching the limits of his skills.

He could have taken her to dinner but this night, it felt important to stay in. Picking up his phone, he pressed the button to connect to James. He needed to confirm the chicken was right but mostly, he just needed to hear another voice.

Despite his cheek, James had helped him push his rapidly increasing nerves away. The doorbell ringing brought them back but he made his way quickly to the door, opening it to her. As always, she took his breath away.

The large bag on her shoulder was proof positive this night was a new chapter. Stepping aside, he let her in admiring her figure as she walked past him. There was a hint of mischief in her smile as she looked up at him. For a moment, he thought about pulling her to him, kissing her.

She turned back to him, lifting her bag slightly, an unspoken question in her eyes. He took it from her, motioning her toward the sofa. Without a word, he turned away, headed for his bedroom. Setting the bag in a chair in the corner, he cast an appraising eye around the room. Everything was in its place, clean sheets, all furniture dusted. He wondered if she would make fun of his orthopedic mattress. Yet another reminder of the age gap.

Pushing the thought from his mind, he returned to the sitting room. She was still stood in the middle of the room. Hearing him she turned to him, "Something smells good."

He realized these were the first words they'd spoken since she arrived. "Thanks, it needs to relax for a bit more. Would you like a glass of wine?"

She smiled and nodded, "That would be nice."

He skittered off to the kitchen returning a few moments later with two glasses. Laura was still standing in the middle of the room. He handed her the glass then took a sip from his. Staring at him, an amused look on her face, "Have you forgotten something?"

He looked at her, confusion clouding his features. Seeing she hadn't taken a sip of her drink he nodded, "A toast, of course." He thought for a moment, then laughed as he raised his glass. "To no call outs."

She smiled, touching her glass to his then taking a dainty sip. His nervousness was intriguing and slightly exciting. Leaning in, she brushed against him, "I was thinking more along the lines of a kiss."

Cursing to himself, he reached up to softly stroke her cheek, "How could I have forgotten?" Brushing his lips lightly against hers, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Pushing up, kissing him more deeply, "I'm sure I can figure out some way you can make it up to me."

He swallowed, nervousness returning. Had he messed up their evening already? "Do you want to sit down?"

"Do you?" Nodding, he motioned to the sofa. Smiling up at him, she teased, "Where do you normally sit?"

"At the end."

Laura walked to the couch, sitting carefully in the middle, then patted the seat next to her, "Sit with me."

He realized how close she would be, was both thrilled and scared. Taking a tentative seat, he set his glass on the table. Just as he was lowering himself onto the seat, a buzzer chimed. Standing and moving toward the kitchen, "That'll be the chicken." He turned back to her, recognizing the disappointed look on her face, "Will you get the glasses? I'll fix our plates."

She nodded, a sad smile on her face. Watching him walk away, she stood, picking up his glasses and made her way to the small dining table. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, just have a seat. I'll be there in a moment."

He stood in the kitchen, trying desperately to figure out why things were suddenly so awkward. At the rate he was going, this would be the shortest love affair in history. He froze for a moment, love. Did he love her? Was that the cause of his nerves?

 **Laura's Story**

She'd changed clothes three times, debating with herself between a dress and pants. Finally she'd gone with a nice summer dress. He'd said he was cooking but she had a passing familiarity with his cooking and suspected they might actually have to go out.

Smiling into the mirror, she found she didn't really care about food. This night wasn't about dinner, it was about them, finally taking that last step, starting a new chapter. She pressed her hand to her stomach, hoping to quell the butterflies fluttering within.

Sex for the first time was always a thrilling proposition, even more so when you loved the person. She'd never experienced it in this order. The few times she'd been in love before had always come after sex. She wondered if it would make the act more meaningful.

There was no doubt in her mind they would be good together. Robbie was almost certainly an attentive lover. She wondered for a moment if there had been anyone since Val, suspected there hadn't been. It would make him nervous, possibly less sure of himself.

She debated on whether or not she should take the lead when she got to his house. A quick shake of her head and she made her decision. No, it was best to let him come to her. Grabbing her bag and the bottle of wine she'd purchased earlier, she left her home.

Packing the bag had been an easy decision. They hadn't explicitly said tonight would be a sleepover but they each knew. There was no fancy lingerie only simple clothes. Things that would make Robbie feel as comfortable as possible. They had plenty of time for sexy clothing, tonight was about a beginning and she wanted him relaxed.

Arriving at his house, she parked, a thrill of excitement rushing through her. This was it, there was no turning back. Collecting her things, she made her way to his door, knocking lightly. He opened the door, a dish towel tucked into his jeans.

She looked down at it, pointedly, smiling when he pulled it free. Comfortable teasing him, she slipped past him into his flat. She could smell the cleaning products, laughed too herself at the scrub up the place had clearly undergone.

Turning back to him, she lifted her bag from her shoulder, a question in her eyes. He took a step toward, taking the bag. His hand lightly grazed hers, she could feel the heat from his body. Looking up at him, she hoped he would kiss her, desperately wanted to be kissed, but she had to wait for him to come to her.

He pulled back, pointing her toward the sofa then disappeared down a hallway. She smiled to herself, realizing they hadn't spoken a word since she arrived. Turning to him, she smiled, "Something smells good."

"Thanks, it needs to relax for a bit more. Would you like a glass of wine?"

She smiled and nodded, "That would be nice."

She watched him skitter, nervously, toward the kitchen. He handed her a glass when he returned then took a deep draw from his glass. Amusement followed by annoyance rushed through her. It was one thing to wait for him, but a girl could only wait so long. "Have you forgotten something?"

The confusion on his face almost made her laugh out loud. She wondered if he would figure it out. His eyes dipped towards her glass, he smiled. "A toast, of course." He thought for a moment, then laughed as he raised his glass. "To no call outs."

She forced a smile, touching her glass to his then taking a dainty sip. Perhaps a little push wouldn't go amiss. She leaned in, brushing her upper body against his, "I was thinking more along the lines of a kiss."

His hand on her cheek almost made her sigh, "How could I have forgotten?" A gentle brushing of his lips against hers, he whispered, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Needing more she pushed up, kissing him more deeply, "I'm sure I can figure out some way you can make it up to me."

She knew it was a mistake instantly. Felt his body tense before he pulled away, "Do you want to sit down?"

Again, she decided to let him take the lead, "Do you?" He motioned to the sofa. Smiling up at him, she teased, "Where do you normally sit?"

"At the end."

Laura walked to the couch, sitting carefully in the middle, then patted the seat next to her, "Sit with me."

She saw the fear on his face as me moved toward her. He took a hesitant step, setting his glass on the table. Just as he was lowering himself onto the seat, a buzzer chimed. He shot up and away from her, "That'll be the chicken." He turned back to her, "Will you get the glasses? I'll fix our plates."

She nodded, wondering how they had arrived at this point. Watching him walk away, she stood, picking up his glasses and made her way to the small dining table. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, just have a seat. I'll be there in a moment."

 **Their Story**

She sat, waiting, trying to figure out what she should do to get him to relax and let this happen. Taking a sip of her wine, she tried to calm herself.

Robbie stood in the kitchen, at a loss. He knew this wasn't going well. Maybe he should just kiss her, pull her from the chair she was sitting in and kiss her for all he was worth. Would it overwhelm her, scare her? His desire for her was so great, what if he just let go? Would she hate him, push him away?

He turned to the chicken and started carving. It only took a few minutes and he had two plates ready to go. Walking to her, he could see the tension in her shoulders, maybe they should have gone out. Sitting the plate in front of her, he sat across from her. "Here you go. I make no promises. Perhaps I should have just taken you out."

"This looks lovely. Thank you."

They ate in relative silence, a few casual comments about work. Finally, the meal was done. Laura stood, "Since you cooked, I'll clean."

Robbie fumbled to stand, "No." Seeing the anxiety in her eyes, he smiled, "Let's do it together. There's not much. Believe it or not, I'm a neat cook."

She smiled, "That sounds like a plan."

True to Robbie's word, the kitchen was tidy and it was the work of a few moments to set everything to rights. He smiled down at her, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

She shook her head, "Not really, do you?"

He shook his head, "Not really." He looked down at her, found himself lost in the deep blue of her eyes. Without even thinking, he lowered his head and kissed her. A deep sigh escaped her sending a flush of desire through him. He pulled her closer, needing to feel her against him.

The kiss took her by surprise, seemingly coming out of nowhere. He'd been taking about a walk and then suddenly his lips were on hers. They had kissed before, many times but this was different. There was a neediness to it which took her breath away. She sighed as she felt a wave of desire pulse through her. Her arms moved up encircling his neck, pulling him to her.

He pushed at her, backing her into the cabinet. His body pressed into her, his hands pushing her sweater from her shoulders. The feel of her bare skin was heaven. He imagined touching more than her shoulders.

The feel of him pressed against her left her longing for more. She slid her hands between them, tearing at his buttons. Pushing at him, trying to create some separation, desperate to get to bare skin.

At her push, he looked down at her, hesitancy returning. He tore his hands away from her skin, scared he had pushed too far. Looking up at him when his hands left her body, she saw his fear, to hell with waiting for him.

Keeping her eyes on him, she methodically unbuttoned his shirt, placing a teasing kiss on his chest with each button. She released a needy cry when his hands returned to her shoulders. Pulling on his shirt, she untucked it from his pants, wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling him to her.

Smiling up at him, she could still sense his unease. Stepping away, she took his hand and led him from the kitchen. Feeling him pull on her hand slightly, she smiled over her shoulder, "Come on, it's just a short walk."

That smile was all it took. Wherever she wanted to lead him, he was willing to follow.

Anywhere you wanna go  
Baby show me the way  
I'm open to suggestions  
Mmm whatever you say  
Tonight's about giving you what you want  
Whatever it takes  
Girl I hope I'm on the right road  
Judging by the smile on your face

Must be doing something right…

 **And that is where I leave you, let your imaginations take a short walk (or a long one if you prefer). The song is Must Be Doing Something Right – Billy Currington**


	3. Chapter 3

**That's When I Knew**

The medics wheeled the woman out of the college. Her husband following close behind. Laura walked behind them as well, moving to join Jean, standing alone in the courtyard. "Well?"

Laura nodded, "She'll live."

Jean's face was a mask of concern as she saw her two detectives walking by, "Thanks to Hathaway." The pain, so clearly etched on his face, worried her. He wasn't one of her detectives who shook things off easily, "James."

Robbie looked back, raising his arm, stopping her from further inquiry. Laura felt her heart clench, knowing James was in good hands. Sensing Jean might not understand, she tried to reassure her, "Robbie'll sort him out."

The two women stared after the men. Alone together, neither really comfortable with the other. Jean pulled her coat tighter. "You make a good team."

Laura laughed, "That was my first and last foray into being a detective. I'll happily go back to my dead bodies."

Jean rolled her eyes, "I wasn't referring to the case." She nodded her head to the departing backs of the two men. "You and Inspector Lewis, quite the double act."

Laura glared at the woman, at the implication. "Robbie and I are just friends."

Jean met Laura's glare and somehow managed not to laugh, "Whatever lets you sleep at night." She paused for a moment then decided to dive in, "I don't know about you but I need a drink and I don't feel like drinking alone. Care to join me in a glass of something?"

"First round is on you and I'm going to need my own glass."

* * *

It was late, she was tipsy, no make that drunk. Giggling to herself she unzipped her dress letting it fall to the ground. She'd picked this dress specifically, expecting he would take her out for celebratory drinks after. Perhaps he would notice the dress and comment on how she looked.

Just her luck, another crime stood in her way. Leaving the dress in a pile on the floor, she staggered up the stairs. In her bedroom, the flashing light called to her. Fumbling, she pushed the button then his voice filled the room.

" _Laura, just wanted to make sure you made it home safely. And I wanted to apologize for missing your concert. This was not how I planned on this evening ending. Anyway, at least text me and let me know you made it home._ "

Grabbing at the phone on her nightstand, she scrolled through the caller ID information and found his name. Without a second thought, she pressed the talk button and heard the call connect.

"Hello."

His voice was sleep filled, she almost panicked and hung up then remembered he would see her number and call her back, "I'm sorry, Robbie. I wasn't thinking about how late it was."

Rolling over in bed, he looked at the clock, "You just getting in?"

She could hear the covers shifted, imagined him in bed, wondered what he wore. Smiling to herself, she climbed into her own bed, "Yes."

"Are you drunk, Dr. Hobson?"

She giggled, "Perhaps a bit. It's your chief super's fault."

His laughter swept through the phone line, warming her. "You went drinking with Innocent. Since when are you friends?"

Laying back, she slid her legs beneath the covers. "I took one for the team."

"What?"

"I knew you could take care of James. I didn't want her to interfere."

Silence crackled over the phone, "Thank you."

"You don't have to. How is he?"

"He'll be OK. He's going to take a few days off." He paused, listening to her breath, "Is Innocent as drunk as you?"

"She is. I would strongly suspect she might be late for the office in the morning."

"Something to look forward to."

"I should let you go, make sure you are rested enough to beat her in."

Suddenly Robbie wasn't sure he wanted her to go, "I'm glad you called."

She smiled, excited, "You are?"

"I had planned on taking you to dinner after the concert, even had reservations."

"What was the occasion?"

He laughed, "Celebrating your success, of course."

"What if I was complete rubbish?"

"Something tells me, Laura, you aren't rubbish at anything." She inhaled deeply, unsure what to say. Robbie filled the silence, "And I have a question to ask you."

"What's that?"

"I'm not sure I should ask you, in your condition."

"In my condition?"

He laughed, "You're a bit worse for wear. What happens if I ask, you say yes and then don't remember in the morning?"

"Then you would have to ask me again."

"What makes you so sure I would have the courage twice? How would I ever know if you were just pretending not to remember?"

Her eyes widened, pulse quickened, "This question of yours, it requires courage?"

"It does."

"Do you think you might have courage again tomorrow?"

"Only if you agree to have dinner with me."

"Yes."

"Tomorrow night it is." He paused, then chuckled, "Any chance you could wear that dress again?"

She smiled to herself, "Good night, Robbie."

* * *

She walked into the restaurant, smiling when she saw him already at the table. He stood walking around the table, he helped her off with her jacket. It wasn't the black dress but a much sexier blue dress. Helping her into her chair, he had to take a few deep breaths to calm his nerves.

They ordered and fell into easy conversation. Laura relaxed into the evening, equal parts excited and confused. As she watch him talk animatedly about a football match, Jean's words from the prior night floated through her mind. _"You and Inspector Lewis, quite the double act."_

She sat back in her chair and it was all suddenly crystal clear. How had Jean known when she hadn't known herself? She wracked her brain, trying to pinpoint the exact moment she'd fallen in love with him.

"Laura, did you hear me?"

She looked up at him, stunned, "What?"

"I asked if you would like to go away with me. Bank Holiday weekend?"

 _Right there_

 _In a middle of a conversation_

 _Wasn't anything special you said_

 _It was just there_

 _Right then_

 _I didn't have time even over think it_

 _I looked at you and all of a sudden (haha) I was all in_

 _It's like my knees are all weak and them butterflies_

 _They were dancing taking all of my air_

 _From that moment on it was very clear_

 _That's when I knew I fell in love_

 _That's when I knew you were the one_

 **And that is how Robbie asked Laura to go away with him. Alicia Keys – That's When I Knew**


	4. Chapter 4

**You Don't Know Me**

She stared into the mirror, nervous, excited, hopeful. Inviting him to her party had been a spur of the moment decision. She'd thought perhaps in a group of people he didn't know he might gravitate toward her, might choose to stay close to her, see her in a different light. Less friend, more woman.

It was probably a foolish move. Most likely, he would bring Hathaway and even at her own party she would be a third wheel. There was nothing to do now. It was in the hands of fate.

* * *

She'd only caught glimpses of him throughout the night. He'd seemed incredibly uncomfortable. Each time she would try to go to him someone would stop her, holding her prisoner until she'd lost sight of him.

As she was blowing out the candles on her cake, he finally made his way to her. Her heart pounded, she wanted to think it was the excitement of the cake and too much booze. But she knew it was his proximity.

"Happy Birthday." He leaned in to kiss her check.

She leaned into him, pressing her lips to his cheek. Inhaling deeply, the smell of him filled her senses. It wasn't cologne, just him. Pulling away before she was overwhelmed and did something foolish she smiled up at him, "Thanks, Robbie. I didn't think you'd turn up. Are you having a nice time?"

He nodded, nonchalantly, "Yeah, considering…"

Panic filled her, had he figured out her real reason for inviting him, "Considering?"

He knew he'd upset her, "Well I'm out of practice with parties and such. And it's louder than expected."

She laughed, wondering what he'd expected when she invited him. "Well they were all medical students once upon a time." Raising her glass she smiled, "A couple of glasses of this stuff and they revert." Sensing his need for an exit, she blurted out, "Hey do you play cards?"

Unsure at her question, "A bit of cribbage with me granddad years ago." She made a face, and he found himself explaining, "But just for matches."

Knowing her gambit had failed, she pointed in the direction of one of the other rooms, "Some of the guys are organizing a late night poker session." He looked away and she added, "Probably not for matches."

Shaking his head, he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Not my scene."

Desperate to keep him close for just a moment longer, "Where's James?"

"I have no idea."

They stared at one another each drinking deeply from their champagne flutes. Before she could stop herself, she was cupping his cheek. At his startled look she brushed her thumb over his cheek, removing the minute trace of her lipstick.

He stared down at her, as if he was indulging a child and she pulled her hand away. Hearing someone call her name, she smiled up at him. "Don't leave without telling me goodbye."

"You won't even notice I'm gone."

Trying not to sound like she was begging, she lightly touched his chest, "Promise me."

He looked down at her hand, surprised, but not displeased, by the touch. "OK, I promise."

* * *

She felt her mobile vibrate in her pocket. Looking at the screen, she saw it was Robbie. Pressing the button to answer, "Robbie?"

"Laura…" She stepped into the garden, to hear him better and saw the lights flashing across the road. "Listen, sorry to be party poopers, but something's come up." She heard James' voice in the background, "I'll call you tomorrow."

He was gone before she could say anything. She was left holding a phone with nothing but dead air. Tears filled her eyes, unbidden. She let them roll down her cheeks.

Anger built in her chest, why couldn't he see? It wasn't as if she was an enigma, most people thought she was pretty straight forward. What you get is what you see? But, somehow, Robbie Lewis was completely clueless. He would continue to break her heart, time and time again for as long as she let him.

She heard the door open, the noise of the party spilling into the garden, "Laura, here you are. I've got someone I want you to meet."

Wiping the tears off her face, she tucked her mobile into her pocket. Plastering a smile onto her face, after all it was her birthday party, she turned. "Well you've found me Ellen, it wasn't as if I was hiding."

Ellen motioned inside, waving to someone just out of sight. "I've wanted you two to meet for ages. Tonight seemed the perfect occasion." Laura fought a grimace, the last thing she needed right now was one of Ellen's notoriously bad set-ups. "Laura, I'd like you to meet Franco, he's only just moved to Oxford and needs someone to show him around."

 ** _You give your hand to me_**  
 ** _And then you say hello_**  
 ** _And I can hardly speak_**  
 ** _My heart is beating so_**  
 ** _And anyone can tell_**  
 ** _You think you know me well_**  
 ** _But you don't know me (no you don't know me)_**

 ** _No you don't know the one_**  
 ** _Who dreams of you at night_**  
 ** _And longs to kiss your lips_**  
 ** _Longs to hold you tight_**  
 ** _Oh I am just a friend_**  
 ** _That's all I've ever been_**  
 ** _Cause you don't know me (no you don't know me)_**

* * *

 **The song actually applies to the first part where Robbie is completely oblivious to her and the rather dismissive way he left. The last little bit is just Laura meeting Franco, talk about dishy. Franco might come up again in an AU way. Fair warning, the next few chapters will likely be angsty. I do like to make them suffer.**

 **The song is** ** _You Don't Know Me_** **. There are multiple versions but the version in my playlist is by Ray Charles. It is also one of my favorite songs to sing. In a former life (AKA my 20s) I was a wedding singer. This, surprisingly, was never a song I was asked to sing (noteworthy because I was asked to sing some TRULY inappropriate songs as first dance songs). But I also sat in with a nice little jazz band and I did get to sing it a lot with them.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Come Round Soon**

She'd walked him out, watched him leave, unlit cigarette still in her pocket. Briefly, she wondered if he would care if she left. It hadn't been a holiday, it had been a job interview. One she was seriously considering.

Certain he could no longer see her, she pulled the cigarette from her pocket and lit it. The first drag burning through her lungs, relaxing her body. Despite his flippant words about her secretly being in love with him, she knew he didn't think of her as anything more than a friend.

She supposed she could stay, see if he ever came around, saw her as something more. But she was more of a bird in the hand kind of girl. A fantastic job offer, a new city, hell a new country, it would be an all new adventure. One without a handsome, broken detective inspector to keep her from really having a life.

"Doctor, I wasn't aware you are a smoker."

Stubbing out the cigarette, she exhaled as turned. "I'm not Sergeant."

Looking at the smoke slowly wafting through the air, "There is evidence to the contrary."

Fixing him with a glare, "What evidence, Sergeant Hathaway?"

Fighting a smile against her withering glare, he nodded. "Purely circumstantial, nothing that would hold up."

A small smile played across her lips, "You're smarter than you look."

He pulled the packet from his pocket and removed a cigarette of his own. Offering the packet to her, "They don't count if they belong to someone else."

She took one, smiling up at him as he lit it. "That's good to know."

They smoked in silence for a moment, "How was your holiday?"

She looked away, nodding lightly, "It was nice."

"You don't look very relaxed for someone just off holiday."

"Are you ever relaxed on your first day back?"

He shrugged, "Don't really know, haven't been on holiday in longer than I can remember."

Taking one last drag from her cigarette, she stubbed it out. "Perhaps it's time for you to do just that."

He smiled down at her, "Who has the time?" He watched her walk back to the entrance of the building, "Join us for a drink tonight?"

She paused for a moment, her hand on the handle. Nodding, figuring tonight might be a good time to tell them, "Yeah, alright."

* * *

James had texted, said they were running a bit late. She ordered a drink, wishing she'd brought a book to pass the time. Instead, she ran through a mental pro/con list about the new job. Thus far there were far more items on the pro side than on the con side.

"Penny for them."

She looked up, surprised to find James standing there. "Not sure they're worth that much."

Sitting across from her he looked at her pensively, "The look of concentration on your face would suggest otherwise."

"Where's the Inspector?"

"Would you like another drink?"

Inhaling deeply, she made her decision. "He's not coming is he?"

James shook his head, sadly, almost thankful she'd guessed. "No, something came up…with the case."

"I think I will take another drink. There's something I need to tell you."

* * *

They stood in the cold, smoking. "America, really?"

"It's an amazing opportunity. A teaching hospital, limited callout schedule, research grants, everything I've ever wanted, really."

"But America?"

"A new start, if I'm going to do it, might as well do it right."

James waved out at the river, passing languidly along its way. "You'll miss all of this."

"They have rivers there James, in fact a very large river."

Taking a drag from his cigarette, he nodded, "But it won't be here, it won't be Oxford."

"No, but I never planned on staying here this long." She looked up at him, knowing he would discern her meaning."

"Care to take a walk, Dr. Hobson?"

"Only if you call me Laura."

She linked her arm in his and they started walking, no particular destination in mind. There was a comfortable silence between them as they made their way into town.

"Does he know yet?"

She shook her head, "No, I'd planned on telling you both together, tonight."

"He won't like it."

She laughed, a sharp bitter sound, "He won't even notice I'm gone."

"Yes, he will."

"Another pathologist will come along who answers his questions and life will go on, it always does."

James stopped walking, turned to her, surprised at her tone, "Why do you say that? He cares for you."

"As a friend, nothing more. And I need more."

"He just needs a bit more time. He'll come around."

Pulling on his arm, she started walking again. "If I thought that was true, I would stay forever. But I know better. He's always going to be stuck in the past. And I am ready to live now."

They rounded the corner and Laura stopped walking. James looked down at her, seeing she'd gone frightfully pale. Following her stare, he saw the Inspector kissing a very attractive woman next to a car. He stepped in front of Laura, pushing her backward, taking her around the corner.

Tears formed in her eyes but the look on her face was glacial, "So much for being stuck in the past, eh."

"Laura, I swear I didn't know."

She shrugged, "It's not the first; it won't be the last. It will just be the last time I have to know about it."

"Why don't we grab something from the off license? I'll take you home. We'll smoke too much and get well and truly pissed."

She shook her head placing her hand gently on his chest. "Thank you, but no. It's OK, James. I had made my decision before I saw him. This just gave me some closure."

* * *

"I'm going to have to get this eye seen to." Robbie said as he rubbed at the tape covering the gash near his eyebrow. "You know anyone"

"Have you talked with Dr. Hobson lately?"

Robbie nodded, "About the case, sure."

"Why don't you give her a call? See if she can take a look at that eye."

"She only works on dead people, James."

James stood, downing the last of his drink. "No, she's tended to a few of the PCs, saved them a trip to A&E. Bet she'd do the same for you."

* * *

It had been a productive evening. Her office was fully packed. While she wasn't officially leaving for another four weeks, any belongings she wanted with her had to be shipped which meant they had to be ready by early the following week. And they still wouldn't arrive until several weeks after she started.

It felt weird to stand in her, now empty, office. The room seemed bigger, there was almost an echo in it. The extra bedroom would go faster, fewer personal belongings in there. She might tackle it tonight. But right now she wanted a glass of wine and a cigarette.

She'd made herself a vow, when she moved, there would be no more cigarettes. A new job, a fresh start, no vices brought with her. Pouring a healthy amount of wine, she lifted it and the pack of cigarettes then made her way to the garden. It was warmer than earlier in the week so she had no need of a sweater.

Lighting the cigarette she inhaled deeply, enjoying the first drag but not as much as earlier in the week. Yes, this was definitely a vice that didn't need to join her in her new life.

"What has you so stressed, Dr. Hobson?"

She froze, knowing the voice without needing to turn around. Turning, she held it up, "This one is a reward for a job well done."

He stood at the gate waiting for her to invite him in, "You were a great help with our case."

Her heart stopped for a moment, had he really stopped by to thank her, "What happened to your eye?"

"Assault with a deadly weapon."

Taking another drag, "You should have someone look at it."

"Sort of why I'm here. James said you've helped out a few PCs. I was hoping you could do the same for me."

Of course, he wasn't here for her. It was all about him. "I don't keep medical supplies at home, beyond a band-aid or two. That needs professional help."

"Last I checked, you're a professional. Can you at least give me an opinion?"

Sending him away, would cause more questions than she was interested in answering. Crushing out the cigarette, she nodded, "Come in, I'll go wash my hands. But if it needs more than a band-aid you're on your own."

Seeing her glass, "I wouldn't say know to a glass of wine….for medicinal purposes."

"That's the last of the bottle."

"You could open another."

She shook her head, "I don't have anymore."

"Perhaps we could share this."

"You can have it, I find I don't want it anymore."

Without another word, she walked into the house, leaving him alone on the patio. In the kitchen, she washed her hands and retrieved her first aid kit. Standing at the sink, she tried to calm her nerves. Didn't want to feel what she was feeling, needed him to be anywhere but in her garden.

"Laura, are you moving house?"

She turned, startled, the first aid kit fell to the floor. "Damn." She bent to pick up the kit and the scattered contents.

Robbie knelt next to her, helping to pick up all of the pieces, "Are you?"

She nodded, "Yes, I am."

"Why? You love this house. I've heard you wax poetic about your garden on more occasions than I can count."

Seems like now would be the time she would tell him. Perhaps it was for the best. She was in her home, could draw strength from her surroundings, "Yes, I do but the commute would be a bitch."

"The commute?"

"I've given notice, accepted another job, elsewhere."

"Where, London?"

"New Orleans."

"That's not in England."

Standing with first aid kit, she moved to the counter, trying to return it to its normal organized state. "No, it's not."

His voice rose, "You're moving to the states?"

"Yes."

Getting louder, he was a on the verge of exploding, "When? When were you going to tell me?"

She shrugged, trying desperately to seem nonchalant. "Four weeks from today. I had planned to tell you over drinks a few nights ago. James invited me to join the two of you and I was going to tell you both. But you didn't come so I told James alone. I'm surprised he hasn't said something."

"Why?"

She turned to him, anger beginning to build. "Why, what?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"A better job, a better life, something new, exciting. The usual reason people change jobs, move house."

"You have a life here."

"No, I have a job here but I don't have much of a life. And if I am going to live for the job then it should at least be a challenging job. And who knows, perhaps, in a new place, with new people, I might actually get a life too." They stared at one another, Robbie finally seemed to understand. "Now, have a seat and I'll look at your eye."

He shook his head, "No, I'll go to A&E. I shouldn't have bothered you."

Moving toward him, she touched his arm, "You're here; you might as well let me look at it."

Pulling away from her, he backed toward the door. "No, I wouldn't want to keep you from your new life."

She followed him into the garden, watched him all but run from her garden. Anger flared at his response. How dare he get mad at her? Did he really expect her to wait for him? Expect her to be happy with the scraps he threw at her when he didn't have something better on offer?

Turning to the glass, she saw his lip prints on the side of it. Picking it up, she hurled it across the patio. A shiver of pleasure ran through her at the breaking sound. She knew she would have to clean it later and would regret the fit of pique but for now, it felt good.

Making her way back inside, she pulled down another bottle of wine, opened it and poured a new glass. She'd lied when she told him she was out. There had been a small twinge of guilt when the words left her mouth, now there was nothing. Returning to the patio, she took a large sip from her glass before lighting a cigarette. It was the last one in the pack which seemed fitting. Saying goodbye to two vices in the same night was the perfect way to get on with her new life.

 ** _I could use another cigarette  
But don't worry, daddy, I'm not addicted yet  
One too many drinks tonight  
And I miss you like you were mine_**

 ** _All your stormy words have barely broken  
And you sound like thunder, though you've barely spoken  
Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God  
'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right_**

 ** _He's taken and leaving but I keep believing  
That he's gonna come round soon_**

* * *

 **I have always loved that scene with the cigarette in Expiation. As a former smoker, I know that feeling. There really isn't anything like that first drag when you haven't had one in a long time. Especially if you are very tense. Clare Holman carried it off so beautifully it made me wonder for a brief moment if she is that brilliant of an actress or merely a former smoker. I suspect the former.**

 **Anyway, as much as I love Robson, I always thought it was odd Laura hung around so long. It wasn't completely in line with her character. So now she's off, leaving the Inspector behind. The song is Come Around Soon – Sara Bareilles**


	6. Chapter 6

**If Only You Knew**

 **I decided to revisit the birthday but from Robbie's perspective.**

He looked in the mirror thinking it was the best he could do. It was a fact, he wasn't as posh as her friends, the people who would likely be at her party. And he was older, quite a bit older if he was honest. Still, she'd invited him, hunted him down specifically to ask. She'd also touched his chest when she said it.

He'd relished the touch. Even now, as he thought about it, his own hand covered the spot on his chest. A knocking at his door, pulled him from his thoughts. Grabbing his jacket he opened the door to James' grim face.

"Is there anything I can do to get out of this party?"

Closing the door behind him, "Short of bone sticking through the skin, I don't think so."

"I'm willing to throw myself down some stairs. You'd have to take me to hospital, it would get us both out."

Opening the taxi door, Robbie couldn't help but smile. He didn't want James to know how much he wanted to go. "It's not worth either of our lives to miss her party." James grumbled as he went to the other side of the taxi, "Besides, she'll most likely have good booze and plenty of it."

* * *

The door had been standing open when they'd arrived. He and James had exchanged a look, two coppers appalled at the lack of security. There were too many people and too much noise. But the booze was plentiful.

He'd only caught glimpses of her throughout the night. Each time he would start for her, she would be swallowed by the crowd and when it cleared she was gone. He heard the beginnings of the birthday song and knew it would be his chance. As she was blowing out the candles on her cake, he watched her. She was gorgeous, more done up than normal but it suited her. There was a rosy tint to her cheeks, whether it was from makeup or a bit too much to drink he wasn't sure. Either way, it enhanced her looks.

As the cake was taken away, he finally made his move. Leaning in, he pressed his cheek to hers, thrilled when her lips touched his cheek. Her perfume was different. It was something subtle, slightly exotic, "Happy Birthday."

Pulling away from him she laughed, "Thanks, Robbie. I didn't think you'd turn up. Are you having a nice time?"

He nodded, nonchalantly, "Yeah, considering…"

A mock tone of annoyance, or at least he hoped mock, filled her voice, "Considering?"

"Well I'm out of practice with parties and such. And it's louder than expected."

She laughed, motioning around the room, "Well they were all medical students once upon a time." Raising her glass she smiled, "A couple of glasses of this stuff and they revert." There was a small pause then she blurted out, "Hey do you play cards?"

Unsure at her question, "A bit of cribbage with me granddad years ago." She made a face, and he found himself explaining, "But just for matches."

"Some of the guys are organizing a late night poker session." He looked away and she added, "Probably not for matches."

Shaking his head, "Not my scene."

She looked around, "Where's James?"

"I have no idea."

They stared at one another each drinking deeply from their champagne flutes. Suddenly she moved the glass to her other hand and reached up to touch his cheek. He swallowed at the unexpected contact. The silly smile on her face was endearing as she stroked his cheek. He knew she was only removing a trace of her lipstick but he didn't want the touch to end.

Staring down at her, he was breathless. What would she do if he leaned forward and kissed her? Not on the cheek like before, but a real kiss. He imagined how soft her lips would be, what her lipstick would taste like, what she would taste like.

Her name was called and she turned toward the voice. He felt her hand on his chest and looked down at it, almost covered it with his own, "Sorry Robbie, find me later."

She was gone before he could reply. Suddenly it was hot in the room, he desperately needed fresh air. She'd asked where James was and he suspected he knew. Grabbing a fresh glass of champagne he went in search.

* * *

Looking back at her house, he knew there was no sense in going back. She was surrounded by loads of friends, she didn't need him. He should at least tell her he was going. He pulled his mobile from his pocket and pressed the button to call her.

"Laura…" He thought she had answered, couldn't tell if the noise was from his end or her end. Covering his ear, he continued, "Listen, sorry to be party poopers, but something's come up." He heard James call to him, "I'll call you tomorrow."

As he pulled the phone away from his ear, he heard her say, "I'm so glad you came."

Looking at James, he held up his hand. He thought about her odd comment about the poker game. Had she told him about the game hoping he would stay later?

"James, I'm going to run across and tell Laura goodbye."

"Didn't you just call her?"

Already halfway across the street, he waved. "Yeah, but I'm not sure she heard me."

Inside her house, he looked around desperately. He needed to ask her if she wanted him to stay. Maybe it hadn't been a pity invite. She wasn't in the main room or the kitchen. He risked asking one of the less inebriated looking guests if she knew where Laura was. She waved vaguely towards a door off the kitchen.

Thinking it was probably the back room she'd mentioned he paused, collecting his thoughts. What would he say to her? Should he just join the game, stay until the bitter end? There were so many things he needed to tell her, wanted to tell her. Things she needed to know, about him, hopefully about them. It was time he told her.

Opening the door, he was shocked to find the room dark. Thinking the woman must have been drunker than he thought, he stepped back to close the door. That's when he heard her voice.

"So is you being here my present?"

A male voice, responded, "No, I have something else for your present."

Frozen, he couldn't move. He could hear clothes rustling, Laura gasp. "Oh God I have missed you. Promise me you won't go away for that long again."

He pulled the door closed. Made his way back to the car in a haze. Sitting beside James in the back of the police car, he tried to erase the past few minutes from his mind. Why had he expected anything less? What was she supposed to do, wait for him? He'd never given her any sign, never told her how he felt. And now, he'd lost her.

 ** _I dream of moments we share  
But you're not there  
I'm living in a fantasy  
'Cause you don't even suspect  
Could probably care less  
About the changes I've been going through_**

 ** _If only you knew  
How much I do  
Do love you  
If only you knew  
How much I do  
Do need you_**

* * *

 **I don't really think he was already I love with her at that point but let's pretend. And he was quite entranced with her reaching up to touch him on the cheek.**

 **If Only You Knew – KeKe Wyatt. Patti LaBelle originally sang it but this version is better. The song really needs a smokier voice.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Friends & Lovers**

He'd called her to go for a walk after his conversation with Louise Cornish. He understood the woman's heartbreak but didn't understand her bitterness toward love. Or perhaps it was because he'd finally acknowledged his feelings for Laura and all he wanted to be was happy.

As he walked, he thought about her, about their dinner the night before. He'd wanted her to know he was ready. Ready for her, for them, ready to let nature takes its course. He didn't really know how to tell her everything. It had been a long time since he'd had to do this. Hopefully, she understood his meaning.

Thinking about the kiss at the end of the night, he smiled. Her lips were soft. He wasn't sure he'd ever really thought about how tiny she was until she had to push up to kiss him. The smile bloomed some more, thinking about how much he would have liked to have continued the kiss.

"What are you thinking about that's making you smile?"

He turned, his heart beating slightly faster for seeing her. "You."

She blushed, "Funny, I've been thinking about you most of the day too. I'm pretty sure Anne Marie thinks I am losing my hearing. She keeps having to repeat things to me." They fell into step, a comfortable silence falling between them. "How did your conversation with Louise Cornish go?"

"About as well as can be expected, I guess. It's not like anyone ever expects to hear their spouse is a drug dealer who's two-timing them with their business partner's wife, do they?"

Laura laughed, "No, I expect there is no special occasion card for that scenario."

Robbie stopped at the top of the bridge, leaning onto it, looking out over the river. Shaking his head, trying to understand, "Jack Cornish didn't just fall into drugs did he? Through poverty or a chaotic life? He walked in with his eyes wide open, knowing people are going to die, lives are going to be ruined, and he just didn't care.

Laura leaned into him, trying to offer some physical comfort, "Well, you'll put a stop to that."

He nodded, "Well we've closed the factory. Still got to nail Faulkner and his mates."

Smiling, she nodded, "You will."

Pushing back from the railing, he nodded his head at something in the distance. "And when I do, do you fancy a ride, one night after work?"

She was stunned at his suggestion. Hadn't really expected him to be quite so open. Smiling, incredulously at him, "A ride?"

He looked down at her, confused, "What?" Seeing the slight blush, it dawned on him how she might have interpreted what he said. "I mean a bike ride." Her laughter made him smile, then pull her into his arms. "There's a bike hire shop…"

Placing her hand on his chest, she let herself be pulled. "Oh, Robbie, you? On a bike?"

Pulling her even tighter he smiled down at her, "Believe it or not, I'm quite good on a bike."

"Only on a bike?" He inhaled, suddenly afraid of the conversation. Laura felt the change in his body, "Robbie, I'm sorry…"

"Don't be, I want this. I'm just a bit scared."

"Tell me."

"You're my best friend."

"I can be both you know."

"Both what?"

She smiled softly, a delicate blush crept across her cheeks. "Your friend and your lover. I'm not in this for a fling, Robbie. I want…"

He leaned down and kissed her, stopping her from talking. It wasn't the chaste kiss, filled with promise, from the previous night. It delivered on the promise suggested as he'd walked her to her car the night before.

They clung to each other, oblivious to anyone and anything around them. A desperate need for air pulled them apart, long before each was truly sated. Robbie rested his forehead against her, struggling to catch his breath.

"Was that what you wanted, Laura?"

Just before capturing his lips with another promising kiss, "It'll do for a start."

 ** _What would you say if I told you  
I've always wanted to hold you  
I don't know what we're afraid of  
Nothing would change if we made love_**

 **So I'll be your friend and I'll be your lover**  
 **'Cause I know in our hearts we agree**  
 **We don't have to be one or the other**  
 **Oh no, we could be both to each other**

 **And yes, it's a chance that we're taking**  
 **Somebody's heart may be breaking**  
 **But we can't stop what's inside us**  
 **Our love for each other will guide us**

 **So I'll be your friend and I'll be your lover**  
 **'Cause I know in our hearts we agree**  
 **We don't have to be one or the other**

* * *

 **There were a few death threats from the last chapter. It felt necessary to give you a happy chapter. I make no such promises on the one after.**

 **I don't know about the rest of you but I always felt there was something left on the cutting room floor in that bridge scene. Not that his embarrassment about the "ride" wasn't cute but what happened which made him feel comfortable enough to pull her into his arms…**

 **This was a song I often sang as a first dance at weddings. It wasn't my favorite but it definitely wasn't my least favorite.** ** _Friends & Lovers – Gloria Loring_**


	8. Chapter 8

**History in the Making**

They walked hand in hand out of The Randolph. Nothing more had been said about the "new chapter". They'd eaten dinner, conversation flowing as smoothly as it normally would. The only difference had been the touching.

It had started with legs brushing against each other under the table. Then after ordering, he'd taken her hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Later over a shared dessert, her hand had come to rest on his leg. He'd covered it with his, their eyes meeting.

"Would you care to take a walk, Laura?"

She squeezed his hand, "Or would you care to come back to my house?"

He inhaled deeply, thinking to himself he would like nothing more. "You'll think me old-fashioned if I say no. But I would like to take our time."

Biting on her lip, she smiled, "I'm alright with taking our time."

Robbie motioned for the server and took care of the check. Now here they were walking along, hand in hand. Laura sneezed, stopping walking. Robbie turned to her, "Bless you." He held out a handkerchief to her.

She laughed, wondering if the handkerchief was him or just a habit of the job. "Thank you."

He watched her, thinking how beautiful she was. "You're beautiful." He stepped closer to her, his hand stroked her cheek.

She looked up at him, eyes sparkling, "I bet you say that to all the girls."

He shook his head, "Only the ones I plan on kissing." He lowered his head lightly touching his lips to hers. He almost panicked when he felt her hands on his chest, thinking she was pushing him away. Then he felt her hands at his neck, pulling him down as she pressed into him.

Not wanting to be outdone, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, pressing her body into his. The desperate need for air drove them apart long before either wanted to end the kiss.

Staring down at her he was mesmerized. He'd been kissed since Val's death but this felt different. No, not different they hadn't felt like anything. This felt like something.

Her fingers stroked at his neck, "You're miles away."

"Your kiss."

"My kiss what?"

"Rendered me speechless."

"Flatterer."

He smiled, "Didn't you feel it?"

Pushing into him, "I definitely felt something."

Rolling his eyes, "I meant something more…"

For a moment, she thought about teasing him more. But the sincerity in his look stopped her. "I always knew it would."

"Knew what, Laura."

"I always knew if you kissed me it would be something more."

He smiled, "Is that so?" She nodded, solemnly. "Then why didn't you kiss me?"

"You needed to come to me."

"And what if I hadn't?"

"It was a chance worth taking. Now, how do you feel about kissing me again?"

"I think I'd feel better about going back to your place."

"What happened to taking it slow?"

Taking her hand, he started walking back toward the car, "I think I've kept you waiting long enough."

 _ **Don't move, baby don't move  
Aw look at you, I just want to take this in  
The moonlight dancin' off your skin  
Our time, let's take our time  
I just want to look in your eyes  
And catch my breath  
'Cause I got a feelin'**_

 _ **This could be one of those memories**_  
 _ **We wanna hold on to, cling to**_  
 _ **The one we can't forget**_  
 _ **Baby, this could be our last first kiss**_  
 _ **The thought of forever**_  
 _ **What if this was that moment**_  
 _ **That chance worth takin'**_  
 _ **History in the makin'**_

* * *

 **This was not the chapter I planned. But the chapter I planned became horribly unwieldy. So it will likely become a story all on its own. Fair warning it's a heart breaker. So I pulled it and you got this instead.**

 **Darius Rucker - History in the Making**


	9. Chapter 9

**Don't Make Me Wait Too Long**

She'd called him, letting him know she had something to help his case. In reality, she could have given it to him over the phone but the desire to see him was too strong. It often was these days. It seemed of late the mere thought of him was enough to give her butterflies.

He'd said he would be right down, had seemed almost eager. A smile teased at the corners of her mouth. Perhaps she could convince him to take her to dinner tonight.

The knock at the lab door made her pulse quicken, his head peaked around the corner of the door, almost shyly. She smiled waving him into the room. "That was quick."

He shrugged, "The sooner you solve this case for me, the sooner I can get a pint and watch some football."

She laughed, both amused and annoyed. Turning to her computer she started pulling up what she needed to show him. The door opened again, another head peaking around the door. It was Alan Peterson. Peterson and Robbie eyed one another awkwardly before Peterson turned his attention to Laura.

He handed her the file he was carrying. "Thanks Laura."

She smiled at him as she took the file. "No problem."

"Speak later." She nodded at him.

Robbie stared at her as if he wanted her to hurry up. Afraid he might have gotten the wrong idea, she fumbled to explain, "He came to discuss some forensic results." Robbie nodded skeptically. Anger flared in her, why shouldn't someone else be attracted to her. "And to invite me to dinner."

Robbie took a deep breath as he stared at the screen behind her. "Ah, right. When?"

She tilted her head at him disbelieving. "Never. Not my type." Turning back to the monitor, she went about explaining the evidence to him.

As he left, she couldn't help but wonder how he could be so clueless. Why couldn't he see how much she cared for him, loved him? How much longer was he going to make her wait? She wondered how much longer she was willing to wait.

For some time, she'd suspected he had feelings for her. Feelings which were more than that of friends. It was what kept her waiting, keeping her life on pause. Now all she could hope is he wouldn't make her wait much longer.

 ** _Baby, it's really amazing what I go through without you  
You know sometimes I find myself counting  
Counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds, the moments_**

 ** _Darling, please don't make me wait too long_**  
 ** _I wanna love you, baby_**  
 ** _Can't you see it's only you I want_**  
 ** _And you I need?_**

* * *

It's not my favorite Barry White song but the lyrics are perfect. Barry White – Don't Make Me Wait Too Long


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello Again**

 **Not set during an episode. Could really have happened at any time during the series.**

He watched her from across the room. She looked beautiful, as always. He wasn't quite sure when he'd started noticing. Oh, he'd always known she was attractive, could appreciate it. But now, more often than not, she took his breath away.

When Innocent had asked him to attend this event with her, he'd groaned. As if going to these things weren't bad enough, being her plus one was even worse. However, tonight had been different. Tonight Laura was here.

The dress she wore he'd never seen before. A brilliant blue which served to make her eyes even more vivid. For a single moment, he'd thought she'd been alone. Thought he might be able to keep her company as Innocent had dumped him the moment she saw someone important.

Then the man had appeared, out of nowhere. A drink in each hand, he handed one to her, as if he'd done it hundreds of times before. The smile she'd given him was one he'd never seen before. A curious combination of grace and something else he couldn't quite place.

The man was tall, taller than him, closer to James' height. He was also younger, closer to Laura's age. He was probably the perfect man for her. He never seemed to leave her side. His hand hovered at the small of her back, occasionally pulling her to him.

She laughed at his jokes, touched him regularly. This didn't seem like a casual date. There seemed to be something more permanent about this relationship. He wondered if he'd missed something in all of the time he spent with her.

A tap on his shoulder drew him from his thoughts, "Robbie, I don't suppose I can trouble you for a dance?"

He looked down at Jean, "Of course, ma'am."

She led him to the dance floor, waving at a few people along the way. They danced in silence, Robbie looking for Laura at each chance. "You should just ask her to dance."

Robbie stumbled, only held upright by Jean's grip, "Who ma'am?"

She rolled her eyes, "Laura Hobson, of course. You've not been able to take your eyes off her all night."

He shook his head, "Actually, it's her date."

"I was unaware you were disposed that way, Robbie."

He looked down at her, unsure of her meaning. Understanding finally dawning, he shook his head, "No, he looks familiar."

"They've been dating for quite a while. He's a doctor as well. You've probably seen him at some of the events you've attended with me."

"How long is a while?"

Hiding her smile, she shrugged, "At least a year I think. It seems quite serious." Unable to stop herself, "They seem well matched." Again he stumbled, "Honestly, Robbie, these shoes cost a fortune. I would rather you didn't ruin them."

"Sorry, ma'am. I'm not very good at dancing."

"Especially when you are looking after the good doctor."

The song came to an end and they walked off the dance floor. Seeing Laura near the bar, Jean smiled. "Robbie, I could use a drink. Do you mind?"

He sighed, wondering why she couldn't get her own drink. "Not at all ma'am."

She watched him leave before lifting a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray. Stepping into the crowd she smiled to herself as Robbie suddenly realized he was standing directly behind Laura.

"I see you got roped into attending."

He looked down startled to find her suddenly so close. "So it seems." He looked away, trying to find her date, "Are you having fun?"

"As much fun as anyone has at these things."

"Why do you come if you don't enjoy them?"

Accepting the drinks from the bartender, she laughed lightly, "Some things you simply have to do." She smiled over his shoulder at the mystery man, "For your partner…" Then she smiled up at him, a different smile, "To make a good impression on the boss."

"Don't you ever just want to do something because it's fun?"

"Is that an offer, Inspector Lewis?"

He blinked, somewhat surprised by her question. "I'm sure what I find fun you wouldn't be interested in."

Rolling her eyes, she laughed. He watched her, mesmerized. As her laughter died away, she leaned into him, "There's only one way to find out."

"How's that?"

"Give me a call sometime."

She was gone before he could respond. His mind worked overtime. Had she just asked him to ask her out? Could he dare?

"Robbie…Robbie…" Innocent touched his arm, "I'm leaving, if you want to go also."

He turned to her, his mind still filled with Laura's words. "Ma'am?"

"I said I am leaving, you are welcome to stay but I've always gathered you didn't like these events."

"I'll walk you to your car."

"I valet parked, Robbie." Nodding toward Laura, "The music is about to start, why don't you ask her to dance?"

He smiled to himself, "No, I think I'm all danced out for tonight. I'll walk you out."

* * *

He'd made it home, although he'd never be able to say how. His mind had been filled with her last words. _"Give me a call sometime."_

The smile on her face had been different from all of the others he'd seen that night. He couldn't place what about it was different but whatever it was, it lit a fire in him. A fire he'd thought long extinguished.

Lying in bed, he tried to clear his head. But each time he closed his eyes, her smile filled his mind and her words echoed in his head. _"Give me a call sometime."_

Without thinking, he grabbed the phone and dialed her number from memory. It rang three times and he was just about to hang up…

"Hello."

He could hear the sleep in her voice and panicked. "Laura, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was this late. We can talk tomorrow."

"Robbie, are you OK?"

"Yes, I just couldn't sleep."

She sighed, he could hear her moving in the bed. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I couldn't wait…"

Another sleepy sound filled the line, "Wait for what, Robbie?"

He smiled to himself, "To call you…"

 ** _Hello again, hello  
Just called to say hello  
I couldn't sleep at all tonight  
And I know it's late but I couldn't wait_**

 _ **Hello, my friend, hello**_  
 _ **Just called to let you know**_  
 _ **I think about you every night**_  
 _ **When I'm here alone and you're there at home**_  
 _ **Hello**_

* * *

 **At all of those events Jean dragged him to, surely Laura was at one of them. And I bet she even occasionally had a date. Neil Diamond – Hello Again**


	11. Chapter 11

**Why Can't He Be You**

 **Doing something just a bit different. This is the same chapter as the one before. Only from Laura's perspective and with a different song.**

It was another event, another night where she was dressed up wearing uncomfortable shoes. At first these evenings had been fun, a reason to dress up, be seen on the arm of a gorgeous man. Now it was just another evening away from a book.

She watched him as he collected their drinks. She cared for him, she truly did. If she were to make one of her famous pro/con lists, he would have more entries on the pro side than on the con side. On paper, he was perfect, perfect for her.

Yet she couldn't commit, couldn't take that next step. He'd asked, several times. Didn't pressure her for an answer, just let her know the offer was there when she was ready. In his mind, it was just a question of when, not if.

The person in front her asked a question drawing her from her own thoughts. She engaged in the conversation, losing herself to another meaningless cocktail chat. His hand on the small of her back made her look up, smiling at him.

She took a small sip from the drink he'd brought her. Of course, it was perfect, much like him. Her smile deepened, she told herself just to embrace all of this. Accept it and let herself fall. Reaching out she touched his chest lightly, a simple gesture thanking him for the drink, thanking him for being him.

* * *

The mindless chatter had gotten the best of her. Rather than letting him go for her drink, she'd excused herself and gone for her own drink.

She'd felt Robbie before she even realized he was there. Turning, she looked up at him, happy to simply watch him for a moment, "I see you got roped into attending."

He seemed somewhat alarmed to see her, "So it seems." His eyes searched the room as if he was worried someone might see them, "Are you having fun?"

What a ridiculous question to ask, "As much fun as anyone has at these things."

He looked down at her, "Why do you come if you don't enjoy them?"

Laughing at his naiveté, she took the drinks from the bartender. "Some things you simply have to do." Seeing her companion over Robbie's shoulder, she smiled, "For your partner…" Looking up at him, her smile softened, "To make a good impression on the boss."

"Don't you ever just want to do something because it's fun?"

She wondered for a second, what he thought was fun. "Is that an offer, Inspector Lewis?"

He blinked and she could see the uncertainty on his face, "I'm sure what I find fun you wouldn't be interested in."

His answer made her laugh. If she was honest, he always made her laugh. Leaning into him, invading his space, she smiled up at him, "There's only one way to find out."

"How's that?"

"Give me a call sometime." She walked away, leaving him alone to ponder what she'd said.

Returning to her partner, she was surprised when he took the drinks from her, dropping them onto the tray of a passing waiter. Without asking, he led her to the dance floor, sweeping her into his arms.

Another time, another place, another woman would have found it all dreadfully romantic. Laura tried, she added his spontaneity to her mental pro/con list. Trying desperately to convince her mind, her heart, of how perfect he was.

Throughout it all, though, all she could hear was his words. _"Don't you ever just want to do something because it's fun?"_ The perfect man waltzed her around the dance floor and all she could think about was having fun with another man.

 ** _He never fails to call and tell me I'm on his mind  
And I'm lucky to have such a guy, I hear it all the time  
And he does all the things that you would never do  
He loves me too, his love is true  
Why can't he be you?_**

 ** _He's not the one who dominates my mind and soul  
And I should love him so, 'cause he loves me, I know  
But his kisses leave me cold_**

 ** _He sends me flowers, calls on the hour, just to prove his love  
And my friends say when he's around, I'm all he speaks of  
And he does all the things that you would never do  
He loves me too, his love is true  
Why can't he be you?_**

* * *

 **This will most likely be the only "continuation". I hope you liked both sides of the coin. Ms. Patsy Cline - Why Can't He Be You**


	12. Chapter 12

**To Make You Feel My Love**

Robbie watched James and Fiona embrace in her apartment. He smiled as he realized that Laura had been right. He pulled out his mobile. " _Turns out you were right."_

He started walking towards the pub. He smiled as he felt his mobile buzz in his pocket. He looked at the text. " _Of course I was. What about?"_

 _"James and Fiona."_

His mobile rang almost instantly, "I can't believe you doubted me for a moment."

He laughed, amused by her confidence. "What are you doing?"

"Reading, you?"

"Walking the streets, thinking about what to eat. Care to join me?"

"I've already eaten. But I'd happily wander the streets with you."

"Meet me at the usual place, ten minutes?"

She laughed, already standing, headed for the door. "Save me a few chips."

"You've already eaten, get your own."

* * *

He was waiting on the bench, happily eating from the wrapping when she arrived. Another wrapper sat next to him, waiting for her. Without a word, she picked it up and started snacking.

They sat in silence for a few moments then she nudged him, "Thanks."

He smiled to himself and shrugged, "It's self-serving. No way you are finishing all of that."

Smirking up at him, "I just might to spite you."

He laughed, "You wouldn't do that to me." He smiled knowingly, balling up his own wrapping then leaned back on the bench.

Silence descended again. Nothing uncomfortable, just the silence of two friends, content to be side by side. Laura finished a few more bites then handed the chips to him. Even if she'd been starving, she wouldn't have eaten them all.

He picked through the ample remnants and his mind wandered to James and Fiona earlier. His appetite waned as he was reminded of his own loneliness. He tried to remember what it felt like to be a part of a couple and couldn't.

Laura felt his mood shift, wondered what had caused it. Nudging him, "Want to walk a bit. Burn off those chips."

He nodded, thinking the movement might dispel his mood. They walked in silence. Unlike other nights, she didn't take his arm. After a while he drew in a deep breath, "I'm slightly jealous of James."

Tucking her hands into her pockets, she smiled up at him. "Why is that?"

"He might be saying goodbye to Fiona but at least he has someone. He knows she cares. Whether they are together or not, someone, somewhere cares for him, loves him. I don't have that. I miss that."

Laura's heart stopped. She had to force herself not to stop walking. Swallowing, trying not to cry, "Surely you know people who care for you…love you."

He shrugged, "The kids, sure. But I'm talking about someone who's there at night. Someone who cares what time you get home." Holding up the chip wrapper, "Cares if you're eating right."

A single tear fell down her cheek. She looked away, wiping it off her face, hoping he didn't see it. He still didn't get it, perhaps he never would. Taking a deep breath, she stopped walking. "I have an early morning. I need to get home."

He stopped, several steps past her. "I'll walk you back."

She shook her head, desperate to be away from him. "No, I'll be fine."

Grabbing her arm, he stopped her. Smiling down at her tenderly, "I know you'll be fine. I want to walk you back." He offered his arm, covering her hand when she looped it into his arm.

At her car, he smiled down at her. "Do you think you might want to wander the streets tomorrow night?"

She nodded, secretly pleased. "Only if you promise something healthier than chips."

Without warning, he pulled her to him. She inhaled deeply, savoring the moment, marveling at how life could change in a moment. Maybe he just didn't get it yet. She wrapped her arms around him, he might not yet know how much she cared for him but she could wait.

 ** _When the rain is blowing in your face,  
And the whole world is on your case,  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love._**

 _ **When the evening shadows and the stars appear,**_  
 _ **And there is no one there to dry your tears,**_  
 _ **I could hold you for a million years**_  
 _ **To make you feel my love.**_

 _ **I know you haven't made your mind up yet,**_  
 _ **But I will never do you wrong.**_  
 _ **I've known it from the moment that we met,**_  
 _ **No doubt in my mind where you belong.**_

 **To Make You Feel My Love – I have 8 versions of this song. The version that inspired this was by Adele.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Arms**

 **I did it again. Same story just opposite side of the coin.**

Robbie watched James and Fiona embrace in her apartment. He smiled as he realized that Laura had been right. He pulled out his mobile. " _Turns out you were right."_

He started walking towards the pub. He smiled as he felt his mobile buzz in his pocket. He looked at the text. " _Of course I was. What about?"_

 _"James and Fiona."_

His mobile rang almost instantly, "I can't believe you doubted me for a moment."

He laughed, amused by her confidence. In an instant, he decided he didn't want to be alone, "What are you doing?"

"Reading, you?"

Thinking of you was what ran through his mind, "Walking the streets, thinking about what to eat. Care to join me?"

"I've already eaten. But I'd happily wander the streets with you."

She was always game to meet. Always seemed so happy to simply be there for him, "Meet me at the usual place, ten minutes?"

"Save me a few chips."

"You've already eaten, get your own."

* * *

He waited on the bench, already happily eating from the wrapping when she arrived. Of course, he'd bought chips for her too. They sat on the bench next to him. Without a word, she picked them up and started snacking.

They sat in silence for a few moments then she nudged him, "Thanks."

He smiled to himself and shrugged, "It's self-serving. No way you are finishing all of that."

She gave him her best irritated look but he knew she didn't mean it. Smiling down at her, he was mesmerized by her lips, "I just might to spite you."

He laughed, "You wouldn't do that to me." Smiling to himself, he balled up his wrapper and waited. He knew she would save some for him.

Silence descended again. Nothing uncomfortable, just the silence of two friends, content to be side by side. He managed not to laugh as she handed him the wrapping.

Picking through most of her chips, he thought about how nice this was. Perhaps it wasn't as nice as what James and Fiona had but it was its own form of nice. His appetite waned as he was reminded of how much he missed being part of something larger. He tried to remember what it felt like to be a part of a couple and couldn't.

He felt her nudge him, was grateful for the distraction. "Want to walk a bit. Burn off those chips."

He nodded, thankful for the suggestion. Somehow, she always knew what he needed. They walked in silence. Unlike other nights, she didn't take his arm. He wondered why. After a while he drew in a deep breath, "I'm slightly jealous of James."

Tucking her hands into her pockets, she smiled up at him. "Why is that?"

"He might be saying goodbye to Fiona but at least he has someone. He knows she cares. Whether they are together or not, someone, somewhere cares for him, loves him. I don't have that. I miss that."

"Surely you know people who care for you…love you."

He looked down at her, her voice sounded different. He shrugged, "The kids, sure. But I'm talking about someone who's there at night. Someone who cares what time you get home." Holding up the chip wrapper, "Cares if you're eating right."

"I have an early morning. I need to get home."

Looking down he realized she wasn't beside him. Turning he realized she was several steps behind him. Closing the distance between them, "I'll walk you back."

She shook her head, turning to walk away from him. "No, I'll be fine."

Without thinking, he grabbed her arm, stopping her. Smiling down at her tenderly, "I know you'll be fine. I want to walk you back." He offered his arm, covering her hand when she looped it into his arm. A quiet peace descended over him. It had been a long time since he'd felt this settled.

He slowed his walking, not really wanting the moment to end. At her car, he smiled down at her. "Do you think you might want to wander the streets tomorrow night?"

To his surprise, she nodded. "Only if you promise something healthier than chips."

Before he could think about it, he pulled her into his arms. He wondered if she knew how much she meant to him. He fought the urge to bury his head in her hair. He smiled to himself as she wrapped her arms around him. The sense of peace from a few minutes earlier increased. He knew she was probably just humoring him. She could probably let go of him and never realize how much this moment meant to him.

As she drove away, he wondered when exactly he'd started to think of her as more than just a friend. More importantly, he wondered if she could ever see him as more. Maybe it was time he gave her some kind of a sign.

 _ **I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart**_  
 _ **But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start**_

 _ **You put your arms around me**_  
 _ **And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**_  
 _ **You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

 _ **How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?**_  
 _ **I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown**_

 _ **I hope that you see right through my walls**_  
 _ **I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling**_

* * *

 ** _Christina Perri - Arms_**


	14. Chapter 14

**Maybe I Didn't Love You**

Laura was late, he was only mildly worried. Mentally, he knew she was safe, at a crime scene, surrounded by people. But a small piece of his mind would always be concerned, would always go to a dark place when she was late coming home.

It had been this way for weeks. They'd worked opposite shifts, too often crossing each other in the hallway. A quick peck on the cheek as one was coming in and the other was leaving. He couldn't say anything, complain, because it was his fault. He was the one who'd gone back to work. Before his decision changed their lives, her crazy schedule didn't matter. They could be together because he was always free. It was a simple matter to change his sleep patterns to make sure he could be with her.

He was tired of it. Tired of being ships passing in the nights. He wanted to fall asleep in her arms and wake much the same. If he was honest, he was tired of it all. They'd wasted, well he'd wasted, so much time. Time they could have been together, have loved one another. Now he just wanted to spend what time he had left loving her, without the constraints of jobs and schedules.

She would probably laugh if he told her his fears, his concerns. Remind him he was the cause of this current stress. It wouldn't be anger, just a gentle chastising, followed with a reminder that she wasn't ready to give it all up.

The door opening made him turn around. She practically stumbled through the door, fatigue etched on the beautiful features of her face. He crossed the room in an instant, taking the heavy case she was carrying, closing the door behind her.

"Have you eaten?"

She shook her head, "No, and I'm not sure I have the strength."

"I'll make you something, you need to eat." Her grimace was a subtle reminder of his subpar cooking skills. "I can manage tea and toast. That will hold you until morning." He kissed the side of her face, "Go on up, get ready for bed. I'll bring it up."

Without another word, she nodded and headed for the stairs. He watched her go, worried. He'd never seen her quite so tired. Normally she was a bundle of energy. The cuts at work, the pressures, were starting to get to her. Maybe it was time for him to call it a day, keep his promise of having her supper ready when she came home.

He set about making the tea and toast, placing it all on a tray he carried up the stairs. The water was still running in their bathroom when he entered the bedroom. He set the tray to the side then turned down the covers. He moved toward the bathroom and had to smile at the sight. Laura was leant against the wall, toothbrush in her mouth, fast asleep.

Crossing the room, he gently pulled on the toothbrush, startling her awake. "I think we can skip the tea and toast. Let's just get you in bed."

She smiled sleepily, "I'm sorry."

Rinsing her toothbrush, he met her eyes in the mirror, "What for?"

"I've been working so hard. We haven't seen each other in weeks. This probably isn't exactly what you signed up for. I'm afraid I'm not a very good partner."

Guilt tugged at him, she was blaming herself for the last few weeks. He wondered what he had done to her to make her feel she was responsible for this, make her feel she was somehow second best.

Turning to her, he pulled her into his arms. "Don't ever think that. You are more than I ever deserved, more than I ever dreamed I would have."

She smiled against his chest, "Those are nice words, Robbie."

Kissing the top of her head, "They aren't just words, Laura. I'm sorry if I've ever made you doubt how I feel."

She looked up at him, tears brimming in her blue eyes. "Are you trying to make me feel worse than I already do?"

Brushing a single tear from her cheek, "Never, love. I'm trying, pretty badly clearly, to make you understand how very much I love you."

"I do know, and I'm sor…"

He kissed her, not letting her finish the sentence. He thought of all of the times he'd wanted to kiss her and had let fear and insecurity stop him. He poured all of that emotion into his kiss hoping in some way she would understand his meaning.

They were both breathless when the kiss ended. Robbie gently stroked her cheek, smiling down at her. "Now, let's get you to bed. We can continue this conversation in the morning."

"Aren't you on shift in the morning?"

He shook his head, "No, I believe I am going to be very ill tomorrow. I might have to spend the entire day in bed."

Robbie led her to their bedroom and settled her in bed. "I'm going to take the tray downstairs. I'll be back in a minute."

She nodded, already falling asleep as his words filled the room. He carried the tray downstairs, leaving the dishes in the sink to be tended to in the morning.

Returning to their room, he watched her sleep for a few moments. His mind made a list of all of the little things he wanted to do for her, all of the little things he would do for her. Another man, a lesser man, might have only thought of big things, an extravagant vacation, jewelry, some grand gesture. But Robbie Lewis was a better man. He knew the truest moments of love exist in the little things, in the calm, quiet moments where they were free to just be.

Slipping into bed beside her, he sighed as she curled into his body, accepting him even in her sleep. He held her and made a promise to himself that this would be their future. He wouldn't waste another day without letting her know she was always on his mind.

 _ **Maybe I didn't love you**_  
 _ **Quite as often as I could have**_  
 _ **Maybe I didn't treat you**_  
 _ **Quite as good as I should have**_

 _ **If I made you feel second best**_  
 _ **Girl I'm sorry I was blind**_  
 _ **You were always on my mind**_  
 _ **You were always on my mind**_

 _ **Maybe I didn't hold you**_  
 _ **All those lonely, lonely times**_  
 _ **And I guess I never told you**_  
 _ **I'm so happy that you're mine**_

 _ **Little things I should have said and done**_  
 _ **I just never took the time**_  
 _ **You were always on my mind**_  
 _ **You were always on my mind**_

* * *

 **Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chasing Cars**

She was exhausted, could barely keep her eyes open. The last few weeks had been nearly impossible. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten more than 6 hours of sleep or worked less than 12 hours in a day.

At least tonight, provided her phone didn't ring, she might actually get to sleep next to Robbie. They hadn't done more than cross in the hall in weeks. She missed him, missed them. They'd gotten past her anger when he'd gone back to work. After the initial adjustment, it had been nice to have him around.

But now, with the cutbacks, the increased expectations, they never saw one another. At another point in her life, she might have blamed him. If he hadn't gone back to work he would be there when she came dragging into the house at all hours. But seeing how happy being back at work made him, made her happy. It was a small price to pay.

Perhaps she could retire, have dinner on the table when he came home. She'd had offers, private consulting. It would give her vastly more flexibility, would pay better too. It had taken them so long to finally come together as a couple. She didn't want to waste any time.

Pulling into their drive, all she could think about was crawling into bed. The idea of falling asleep in Robbie's arms made her sigh. Getting out of the car, she staggered to the front door. She hoped he was still awake, desperately needed to see him.

She practically stumbled through the door, happy to see lights on downstairs. Before she could even draw a breath he was at her side, taking the heavy case she carried, closing the door behind her.

"Have you eaten?"

She shook her head, "No, and I'm not sure I have the strength."

"I'll make you something, you need to eat." She grimaced worried about what he might concoct. "I can manage tea and toast. That will hold you until morning." She leaned into his kiss, longing for his touch. "Go on up, get ready for bed. I'll bring it up."

Without another word, she nodded and headed for the stairs. She needed to talk with him, tell him she couldn't continue this way. In their bedroom, she changed quickly then made her way to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

Staring in the mirror, she saw lines she'd never seen before, wondered if Robbie noticed. Going back to work seemed to rejuvenate him. All it seemed to be doing to her was aging her. She had to get out. Leaning against the wall to brush her teeth, she closed her eyes, imagining a life away from all of this.

The toothbrush being pulled from her mouth woke her. She smiled sleepily at Robbie, "I'm sorry."

He met her eyes in the mirror, "What for?"

"I've been working so hard. We haven't seen each other in weeks. This probably isn't exactly what you signed up for. I'm afraid I'm not a very good partner."

She sighed when he pulled her to him, wrapped her in his arms. "Don't ever think that. You are more than I ever deserved, more than I ever dreamed I would have."

She smiled against his chest, overwhelmed by his words. "Those are nice words, Robbie."

"They aren't just words, Laura. I'm sorry if I've ever made you doubt how I feel."

She looked up at him, could feel tears building in her eyes, "Are you trying to make me feel worse than I already do?"

She leaned into his hand as he brushed away a tear, "Never, love. I'm trying, pretty badly clearly, to make you understand how very much I love you."

Her heart broke, how could he be so forgiving her? She'd learned so much about relationships from him, "I do know, and I'm sor…"

His kiss took her breath away. She wasn't sure if it was because it was the first real kiss they'd shared in weeks or if he was trying to tell her something. But this kiss felt different, powerful, healing.

They were both breathless when the kiss ended. Robbie gently stroked her cheek, smiling down at her. "Now, let's get you to bed. We can continue this conversation in the morning."

"Aren't you on shift in the morning?"

He shook his head, "No, I believe I am going to be very ill tomorrow. I might have to spend the entire day in bed."

He pulled her gently toward their bedroom, settling her in bed. "I'm going to take the tray downstairs. I'll be back in a minute."

She couldn't say anything. Was afraid if she did all of her feelings would come back in a torrent of nonsensical words. Sleep would help to clear all of her fears and insecurities. It would help her find the words she needed to say.

* * *

She woke naturally the next morning, no alarm, no ringing phones. Robbie's arm was across her waist, holding her to him. A smile lit her face, it had been so long. She couldn't remember the last time she'd woken in his arms.

Turning as slowly as possible she watched him sleep. Her thoughts wandered back to the prior night, thinking how easily he had stepped into the role of caretaker. He hadn't been angry she'd been late, had ruined their chance for an evening alone. He'd been so graceful in accepting her crazy hours. Unlike the way she'd responded when he went back to work. It reminded her of herself when she'd been the one who was so forgiving.

These last few weeks, he'd reminded her of what it meant to be an accepting partner. She needed to find the missing part of her. His last words to her floated through her head. Was he serious about being sick today? Could they really just lay here all day? Her eyes slipped closed thrilled at the mere suggestion of it. Wishing for thousands of mornings, just like this. Mornings where they woke naturally, lingered in bed, had nothing to do but just be. They could forget about the entire world if they wanted.

"Good morning beautiful."

She opened her eyes and everything was suddenly so very clear. He was all she needed. This moment, this simple, quiet moment was all she'd ever really needed. "I want to retire. I don't expect you to but I want to. I want thousands, millions of moments just like this. I want a life with you, not just passing in the hallway between work shifts."

Robbie kissed her, pushing her onto her back. Looking down at her he smiled, "Yes."

She pulled him down for another kiss. They lost themselves in each other. Forgetting all about the rest of the world.

 _ **I need your grace**_  
 _ **To remind me**_  
 _ **To find my own**_

 _ **If I lay here**_  
 _ **If I just lay here**_  
 _ **Would you lie with me**_  
 _ **And just forget the world?**_

 _ **Forget what we're told**_  
 _ **Before we get too old**_  
 _ **Show me a garden**_  
 _ **That's bursting into life**_

 _ **All that I am**_  
 _ **All that I ever was**_  
 _ **Is here in your perfect eyes**_

 _ **They're all I can see**_

 _ **I don't know where**_  
 _ **Confused about how as well**_  
 _ **Just know that these things**_  
 _ **Will never change for us at all**_

 _ **If I lay here**_  
 _ **If I just lay here**_  
 _ **Would you lie with me**_  
 _ **And just forget the world?**_

* * *

 **The song is by Snow Patrol. It's called Chasing Cars**


	16. Chapter 16

**Right Here Waiting**

Robbie ran into Laura at the hospital. They looked at each other awkwardly then he asked. "Care to take a walk with me." She nodded and they left. They walked in silence for a bit when suddenly he said. "Went to sea in a sieve."

She looked up at him. "What's that?"

"I went to visit Dr. Ganza and he was reading to his wife."

She nodded. "What's he going to do?"

He shrugged. "Go on reading. He's going to stay with her."

"I spoke to her surgeon. There's no chance of recovery. Absolutely none."

"Yeah, I know. He knows. But he's staying."

She paused then asked. "Out of guilt?"

He looked at her. "Maybe, more out of love I think."

They stopped walking and looked at one another. "Sorry Robbie."

He snuffed. "You don't have to be. It's not as if we…"

She smiled at him. "Yeah."

"Think Ganza really proves it doesn't it."

"Proves what?"

"That you don't get many chances. You don't want to waste them." They gazed at one another realizing what he is saying. "Can I buy you a coffee, Laura?"

She smirked. "Coffee?"

"Something stronger?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sounds a bit more like it."

They made their way to the Trout, ordered their drinks and found a seat. Sitting in companionable silence they sipped their drinks.

Finally Robbie broke the silence. "I'm the one who should have apologized. Not you." He turned to her, "I acted like a jealous school boy and I didn't have a right to."

"Robbie, it's OK. Friends can disagree, get out of step."

He shook his head, "But, that's the point, I don't want to be."

"I don't understand."

"I want to have the right, to be jealous, when some man is interested in you."

Laura stared at him, confused by his words. "What do you mean, Robbie?"

He smiled, happy to be one step ahead of her for a change, "I'm asking you on a date, Laura."

She tried to control her expression, hoping he couldn't see the answer in her eyes. Whispering, hoping to make it easier on him. "No."

"You understand I mean a date. One of those things where we get dressed up, go to a nice restaurant, I pick you up and drop you off."

She smiled, sadly, shaking her head. "I understand what you mean. I'm saying no."

His face fell, "Why not? I thought this is what you wanted."

"Why are you asking me, Robbie?"

He scoffed, unable to believe she was saying no. "Because…" He looked at her, struggling for words.

She rescued him, as she always did. "You're asking because you were jealous."

Anger flared in him, "What difference does it make why? I'm asking."

"Because you're not ready."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not ready for a relationship, Robbie. And, let's be very clear, when this happens between us it's going to be a relationship, not something casual. And you're not quite there yet."

"How do you know what I'm ready for?"

Smiling, she stood, stepping in front him, between his legs. She took his hands, squeezing them lightly. "Because it took the threat of losing me to get you to ask me out. When you're ready, you won't need any threat or reason, you'll just ask." He looked down unable to meet her eyes. Lifting his chin with her hand, she leaned forward. She pressed the lightest of kisses to his lips before whispering in his ear. "And when that happens, my answer will be yes."

Without another word, she turned to leave. He watched her walk away. For a brief moment, he thought about chasing after her. Then the truth of her words struck him. She was right, he wasn't ready. He'd almost let his jealousy ruin what they had. Smiling to himself, he stood all thoughts of Ganza and the horrific ending of this case gone from his mind. All he could think about was the safe knowledge someone was waiting for him when he was ready.

 _ **Wherever you go**_  
 _ **Whatever you do**_  
 _ **I will be right here waiting for you**_  
 _ **Whatever it takes**_  
 _ **Or how my heart breaks**_  
 _ **I will be right here waiting for you**_

* * *

 **Laura is smart, she wouldn't have wanted to rush things. At least I think so.**

Richard Marx – Right Here Waiting


	17. Chapter 17

**Closer and Closer Apart**

 **I had planned on writing a bit of smut. Something completely frivolous about the love between these two. Then insomnia struck. So...angst until I sleep.**

Laura walked toward him forcing cheerfulness she didn't feel. "Hot work eh. Fancy a drink?"

"Make it dinner and I'm paying. I owe you one."

She shook her head, "No you don't"

He nodded as she walked away. "8 o'clock The Turl?"

She looked back at him, smiling sadly and nodded.

* * *

She'd dressed carefully, wanting to look her best for him. He'd admitted he might have had a relationship with the dead woman. Perhaps it was time for him to consider her. In her heart, she'd always believed if she gave him time he would come around. He would finally realize what had been standing in front of him all of these years.

It had never occurred to her he might find someone else. Some other person from his past. There was a fear deep within her which believed his former sergeant's death might push him back into the depths of despair. Another person he cared for, dead too soon.

Her only hope was that he'd asked her to dinner. In spite of everything, he felt he owed her something. She wasn't foolish enough to think tonight was the night he would finally acknowledge there was something between them. Something more than friendship, something, if fostered, which could grow into love.

If she was honest with herself, she already loved him, had done for a long time. She had decided a long time before to wait for him. Her heart had made its decision so seeing anyone else was simply foolish. Looking up she realized she'd made it to the restaurant. Her thoughts of him had made the walk pass quickly.

Looking in the window she saw him already at a table. There was a sadness at the edge of his eyes, she knew it meant he hadn't been sleeping. Her fear pushed its way to the forefront of her mind. What would she do if he slipped back into his malaise? Did she have the strength to continue to love him from afar? To wait?

Entering the restaurant, she made her way to the table quickly. He waved at her but didn't stand like he normally would. Over the past few months, it had become their habit to kiss the other's cheek when meeting outside of work. Tonight, there was no kiss, barely an acknowledgement of her presence beyond the wave.

Sitting across from him, she smiled, hoping her fear didn't show through. There was a darkness in his eyes she hadn't seen in years. All of her fears were laid bare, there in his melancholy look. In that moment, she made the decision to protect herself. It was time she tried to live for her and not for him. She would still be his friend, but nothing more.

Smiling just a bit brighter, she forced herself into the role of supportive friend. It's who she was, always had been. Only now she knew it was all she ever would be.

 _ **Tell me the truth, don't ask me to lie**_  
 _ **These are the things we say**_  
 _ **You don't need proof and I'm not going to try**_  
 _ **But I think we have lost our way**_

 _ **I don't own the sun and I can't raise the moon**_  
 _ **So now as the darkness falls**_  
 _ **Love's so hard won and over too soon**_  
 _ **Another cruel ending calls**_

 _ **All I can do is turn now to you**_  
 _ **Holding my hand to my heart**_  
 _ **All that I know is I'm watching us grow**_  
 _ **Closer and closer apart**_

* * *

 **Interestingly, Laura had a date with Franco a mere two episodes later. Coincidence? I think not...**

Mary Chapin Carter - Closer & Closer Apart


	18. Chapter 18

**Am I the Only One**

 **Continuing the prior chapter and Laura letting go of her relationship with Robbie.**

The walk home had been cold and lonely. Before Robbie would have offered her a ride. Tonight, he'd waved vaguely muttering he would see her on Monday. Faking a happiness she didn't feel she'd turned away from him.

Her cheeks hurt from smiling at dinner a futile attempt to cheer him. She'd tried everything she could think of to bring even the mildest of smiles to his face. Nothing had worked. By the end of dinner, she wondered why he'd even invited her.

The only conclusion she'd come to was a sense of guilt for having been short with her. She would have rather he'd let it go. Let time heal the hurt feelings. Somehow sitting across from him, an empty shell, had hurt more than anything he'd said to her in anger.

It had never occurred to her she could feel more alone sitting with someone than actually being alone at home. The evening had isolated a feeling of emptiness inside her she hadn't known in a long time. It was a painful realization. The man she cared for more than any other had left her feeling abandoned while sitting four feet from her.

She let herself into her house not turning on any lights. Resetting the alarm and locking the door, she removed her jacket and walked through the dark house to her bedroom. In a matter of moments, she had removed her clothing and pulled on her most comfortable pajamas. The ones she only wore when no one else was around. The ones she wore when she was her most bereft.

Of course, she'd had relationships end in the past. Some of those had been mutual, others had been because she wanted out and a few had been because the other person wanted out. This was the first one where it had ended before it ever really started. Could she really even classify it as a relationship? It had only ever existed in her mind and yet this pain felt more real than any she'd ever known.

Looking in the mirror as she washed her face, she considered what she should do. If she called any of her friends, there wasn't likely to be the sympathy one would expect had she ended a real relationship. It wasn't even like she could take solace in knowing he might be feeling a comparable sadness, sense of loss. The simple fact was, he didn't know.

Bitter laughter escaped as she met her own eyes in the mirror. Tears streamed down her face. She tried to smile, tried to imagine how she would act when she did see him on Monday. Even to her eyes the smile looked fake.

Turning off the light, she made her way to her bed, turning down the covers. She climbed into the bed, pulling the covers up and over her head. As she lay there, all of the memories of time she'd spent with him played through her mind. All the moments, she'd seen a glimmer of hope. Bittersweet memories which she suspected would haunt her for a long time to come.

How could she have been so wrong about him? About them? A huge piece of her self-esteem was tied up in her realist view of life. It was hard to accept she had fantasized a relationship which simply didn't exist anywhere except in her mind. As sleep pulled at the edges of her mind she wondered if anyone else had ever felt this alone and foolish. Was she the only one?

 _ **Now My Sense Of Humor Needs A Break**_  
 _ **I See A Shadow In The Mirror**_  
 _ **And She's Laughin' Through Her Tears**_  
 _ **One More Smile's All I Can Fake**_

 _ **There Is A Wound Inside Me**_  
 _ **And It's Bleeding Like A Flood**_  
 _ **There's Times When I See A Light Ahead**_  
 _ **Hope Is Not Enough**_  
 _ **As Another Night Surrounds Me**_  
 _ **And It Pounds Me Like A Wave**_  
 _ **God Help Me**_  
 _ **Am I The Only One Who's Ever Felt This Way?**_

 **Still not sleeping. Dixie Chicks -** ** _Am I the Only One_**


	19. Chapter 19

**Good Morning Heartache**

The dawn light slipped past the crack in her curtains. She'd like to say it was what woke her. But the fact was, there hadn't been much sleep. Her covers were scattered across her bed, a testament to her restless evening.

Staring at the ceiling, she tried to shake the malaise threatening to overtake her. At no point in her life had she ever given into grief. All she wanted to do was put it, put him in the past. Rolling over, she pushed herself from the bed. Standing, she steeled herself. Sometimes, there was nothing to it but to do it. Put one foot in front of the other and soldier on. It was what she needed to do.

Halfway across the room, she felt the tears on her cheeks. Sometimes what you needed couldn't supplant what you wanted. Turning, she walked to the window and closed the curtains, fastening them to make sure there was no light creeping into the room. Back to the bed, she straightened the covers then climbed back in.

Perhaps letting the grief in wasn't such a bad idea. Time for her to mourn her loss.

 ** _Good morning heartache you old gloomy sight  
Good morning heartache thought we said goodbye last night  
I turned and tossed 'til it seemed you had gone  
But here you are with the dawn_**

 ** _Wish I'd forget you, but you're here to stay  
It seems I met you when my love went away  
Now everyday I start by saying to you  
Good Morning heartache, what's new?_**

* * *

 **Laura doesn't strike me as the type to dwell for too long. But sometimes you have to run down the rabbit hole.**

 _ **Good Morning**_ ** _Heartache_ \- I used the Billie Holiday version but Ella has a beautiful version too.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Help Me**

 **Will wonders never cease - I found a little bit of a plot.**

It had been weeks since he'd done more than see her in passing. They'd had two cases together in that time. With each of them, she'd changed the PM time at the last minute meaning he couldn't attend. Her case notes had been delivered by one of her attendants.

He'd called her a few times, asking her to dinner or for drinks. Each of those had gone unanswered, straight to voice mail. He'd ignored James' smirk when he said it went straight to voicemail. No doubt, there was some reason for that. It hadn't been worth the teasing to ask the reason.

The call from Lyn had him rethinking a lot of things in his life. Chief among them was Laura. When Lyn had suggested he retire, move up north, his first thought hadn't been of his daughter or even his future grandchild, it had been of Laura. The idea of most likely never seeing her again.

So here he was, stood outside the morgue, waiting for her. A few people came out and he grabbed a flyer to make it look like he wasn't just loitering there. Then he saw her.

For a flash there was a look of something he couldn't place in her expression. She paused for a beat, looking at him, "I won't have the toxicology results yet."

He was confused, wondered why she thought he would be here at this time of day, waiting, about work. "No, I was just wondering if you fancied a bite to eat, on the off chance."

Again, the mystery expression crossed her face. She shook her head, seeming somehow sad, "Oh, sorry, I'm booked."

He realized he was genuinely sad. He missed her, spending time with her, talking with her, knowing she was there. Not wanting her to see his sudden sadness, he shrugged, "Ah, never mind." He looked down at the flyer in his hand.

"Did you want to talk?"

He nodded, "It'll keep."

She took the flyer from him, reading it with a smirk, "How to donate a body for medical research."

He rolled his eyes, "I just picked it up in reception. Our Lyn is on me to sort out my will. Her partner being a financial advisor."

They walked towards the door, "Some cultures believe you can't enter heaven without all your bits intact."

He opened the door and let her go through, "Some of us don't believe in heaven."

Laura stopped outside the door, "You know who asked me about donating their body? Morse. I told him he should help the living and consider donating his organs instead. He said he wouldn't inflict his organs on anyone." They shared a laugh.

Robbie looked away and sighed. "All those years, still things change, don't they? Walk you to your car at least." He held out his arm and his heart beat just a bit faster when she took it.

He dropped her at her car. As she drove away, he smiled to himself. Did she have any idea how much he admired her? How much he cared for her? No matter what he did or said to her, she was always there for him. Her patience seemed to have no bounds, at least where he was concerned. No matter what he was going through, she always helped him. And she never expected anything in return.

He didn't just want to tell her about the baby. He needed to tell her everything he should have told her at dinner that night. Closing his eyes, he shook his head as memories of that night flickered through his mind. He'd treated her so badly. Practically grunting at her after he'd been the one to invite her.

She'd tried so hard to distract him. The harder she'd tried the more he'd spiraled away from her. His invite had been to tell her he was sorry. Sorry for having been so gruff during the case, sorry for having kissed Alison, sorry for implying there might have been something between him and Alison. The only person he ever wanted to have anything with was Laura.

It was time he let her know. Time he told her how much she meant to him, how much she helped him. Pulling his mobile from his pocket, he texted her. " _Meet me tomorrow. I want to share something with you._ " He paused for a moment then typed more, " _I miss you. I miss everything about you. Please."_

 _ **You're always so patient, you're always so kind  
And I've got this fiery temper always falling out on love  
Lord, I say just what I think and you wanna think things out  
Baby, you stand on your own, while I run with the crowd**_

 _ **What's it like to be so strong? Help me  
I'm just barely hanging on, help me  
Lord, I wanna do this right, **__**help me**_

 _ **I'm getting tired of being the way I've always been  
But baby, the way you love me makes me wanna try again  
You see all the good in me and honey, I see all the bad  
You keep talking about the future like you've never seen my past**_

 **Trisha Yearwood - Help Me**


	21. Chapter 21

**Stay With Me**

During her drive and while she dressed, her mind lingered on Robbie and their strange conversation. What had he meant by "all those years"? Was he talking about all of the years of her life he'd wasted? It was how she'd come to view it, a waste. Years of her life she'd spent longing for him to notice her. Years where she'd scuppered every relationship opportunity she'd had.

Or was there some other hidden meaning which she was supposed to discern? No, she was done interpreting the world according to Robbie Lewis. It was time for him to stand on his own two feet and support himself.

Her phone buzzed and she cast a quick glance to it, a text from Robbie. She was just about to open it when the knock came. Dropping the phone into her bag, she crossed to the door. A single deep breath, she smiled and opened the door, "Hello, Franco."

* * *

She watched him as he drove. Taken, as always, by his good looks. The kiss at her door had been more than a friendly buss on the cheek. She'd forgotten what it was to be looked at in that way by a man. A man who had never been anything but open with her about how he felt.

Throughout dinner, he'd been charming, attentive, flirtatious. He'd listened to her as she talked about work and cases, even her research. He asked intelligent, probing questions. He was interested in what she did and not only at work. They'd talked about books and concerts each had attended. In short, they'd shared the minutiae of their lives and not once had there been an awkward pause because she'd said something which reminded him of a ghost.

Franco was one of the relationships she'd ruined. Instead of looking forward to the relationship that could have been, she'd been looking back at what was never to be. It was a mistake, one she was suddenly regretting.

"Laura, I can feel you thinking. What's on your mind?"

She smiled to herself. He'd always been good at discerning her moods. He never reacted to them, just talked to her. It was one of his many admirable qualities. She'd told everyone him moving to Germany was what ended the relationship but it would have ended even without the move. Robbie had shown her the tiniest bit of interest and she'd ruined the relationship.

Even then, Franco had been unfailingly kind, understanding. Told her she knew where to find him when she was ready. And he'd stayed in touch over those years. Always called her for dinner or a drink when he visited.

"I was thinking how much I miss this, miss you. I'm afraid I owe you an apology."

He pulled into her drive then turned to her. "Why do you think you owe me an apology?"

She looked down at her hands, tried to force them to relax. Finally she looked up, met his eyes, "I'm not really sure I ever gave us a chance."

Smiling, he took her hands. He stroked them gently, finally getting her to relax. "And now?"

Leaning forward, she kissed him. It built on the kiss from earlier in the evening. As she pulled away, she was slightly flushed. "Would you like to come in?"

 _ **Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand**_  
 _ **But I still need love cause I'm just a man**_  
 _ **These nights never seem to go to plan**_  
 _ **I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?**_

 _ **Oh, won't you stay with me?**_  
 _ **Cause you're all I need**_  
 _ **This ain't love it's clear to see**_  
 _ **But darling, stay with me**_

 _ **Why am I so emotional?**_  
 _ **No it's not a good look, gain some self control**_  
 _ **And deep down I know this never works**_  
 _ **But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt**_

* * *

 **Stay With Me - Sam Smith**


	22. Chapter 22

**I Try**

It had been almost two days and she hadn't responded to his text. In all of the years they'd been friends, she had never not responded to him. Usually it was within a few minutes, sometimes longer if she'd been at a scene or in the middle of an autopsy. But she'd never not responded.

For a moment, he wondered if he'd done something to upset her. As he opened the door, he discounted the thought. She had probably just been busy. Making his way to her office door, he knocked lightly. She looked up at him and the look was not what he expected.

"Am I catching you at a bad time?"

"Just busy, did you need something?"

Her tone seemed off. He thought about asking then decided it was best to let it go. "Just seeing if you had those results?"

She lifted a folder, "I just got it but haven't looked at it yet. I won't get to it for a couple of hours."

"If you want I could buy you lunch, you could tell me about it."

She shook her head, "No, thank you. I'll have someone drop it off for you."

Her head dropped, effectively ending the conversation. He stared at her for a moment, "Did you get my text?"

Without looking up, "I saw it, but I haven't had a chance to read it."

"OK, I guess I'll see you around."

* * *

She waited until she was sure he was gone before picking up her phone. In the rush of the last few days, she'd completely forgotten about his text. Scrolling through the messages in her phone, she found his and clicked it.

" _Meet me tomorrow. I want to share something with you. I miss you. I miss everything about you. Please."_

Anger flowed through her. Why did he have to do this? Why, just when she was making up her mind to get on with her life, did he have to do this?

Hitting the button to reply, she angrily typed. " _I can't do lunch. Coffee and I will give you the results."_

* * *

He pulled the device from his pocket and read her message. A small smile played across his lips, she wasn't mad at him, just busy. With a little extra bounce in his step, he headed to his car to meet James.

* * *

He'd gotten there early. Wanted to make sure he didn't keep her waiting. While her text had, at first, given him a sense of happiness, as he thought about it he couldn't help but feel some unease. She was always busy, but had never skipped the chance of a free meal. Now she'd done it twice. That combined with the lack of response had him reconsidering if he had done something to upset her.

He saw her across the patio and stood, waving at her. The smile she returned was tight and she was talking as she sat, all business.

She handed him the folder and started talking before she even sat down. "Prepare for the weird Robbie. Jeremy Swain's cause of death is a first for me in a homicide: starvation."

"Starvation?"

"And/or dehydration."

He sat back in his chair. "How long would that take?"

"Umm, they say three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks without food. But it's a moveable feast, to coin a phrase. From his body weight and general health I am estimating he died between four to ten days ago. And he last ate at least two weeks ago, closer to three."

"That would fit with when he disappeared. But he can't have been in the ground that long. He must have been kept hidden somewhere, tied up and gagged. What about this missing finger?"

She handed him the papers. "Left hand, little finger, severed at the base of the proximal phalanx, after death."

Robbie grimaced. "Small mercies." Laura grabbed her bag and moved to leave. "There's something else if you've got five minutes.

Again, the strained smile before she nodded and settled in her chair. "Sure.

Robbie motioned to the server and pointed at his cup. He held up two fingers. He waited for the server expected she would fill the gap with conversation. Instead she sat in her chair, looking anywhere but at him.

"Laura, is there something the matter?"

She looked in his direction, but not at him. "No, why do you ask?"

"You just don't…I don't know, you seem different."

"Robbie, I'm very busy. You said you had something to talk about."

"Our Lyn is pregnant."

She paused, staring at him, with an expression he was unfamiliar with. Finally, she smiled, not a bright, brilliant smile but rather the colder smile she gave people she didn't really know. "That's great. I'm happy for you."

"You were the first person I wanted to tell."

"Is that why you stopped by the other day?"

"Yes, plus." He paused, trying to catch her eye. "I'm thinking about retirement. Move up north, be able to see my grandchild whenever."

She sat back in her chair, looking down at her hands. Finally, she looked up at him, smiling a smile that never really reached her eyes. "I think that's a brilliant idea, Robbie."

"You can't think of any reason I should stay here?"

"Not one that trumps your daughter and grandchild." The server chose that moment to bring their coffee. Laura waved her off, "I can't stay. Congratulations."

She was gone as he choked on words to try to make her stay. He wasn't sure what he'd expected her to say but it certainly wasn't this. She'd told him to go. Told him there was no reason for him to stay in Oxford. Dropping some money on the table, he stood to leave the café and found his steps suddenly very heavy. He couldn't imagine his life without her. But clearly she didn't have the same thoughts.

 ** _Games, changes and fears  
When will they go from here  
When will they stop  
I believe that fate has brought us here  
And we should be together babe  
But we're not  
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you  
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'_**

 ** _I try to say goodbye and I choke_**  
 ** _Try to walk away and I stumble_**  
 ** _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_**  
 ** _My world crumbles when you are not here_**  
 ** _Goodbye and I choke_**  
 ** _I try to walk away and I stumble_**  
 ** _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_**  
 ** _My world crumbles when you are not here_**

* * *

 **Ben Taylor - I Try. Macy Gray originally sang it but I used this version for Robbie.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I Don't Paint Myself into Corners**

It had taken everything in her not to run away from him. The lies she'd told him had cost her more than she would have imagined. If she had let herself believe he was searching for some sign from her she wouldn't have been able to let the words slip off her lips.

But this was for the best. If he left, disappeared up north, she could move on. Perhaps, in a new place, he would find happiness as well. A sharp pain tore through her chest, could a person's heart really break?

She sat in her car, trying to calm the beating of her broken heart. Telling him to go, was for the best. Without Robbie around, she wouldn't find a reason to sabotage her budding relationship with Franco.

That had been her mistake before. She'd never fully committed to him. One foot had always been over the ledge, ready to jump if Robbie showed even the slightest hint of interest.

And he had, he'd invited her away for the weekend. Without a thought to Franco she'd said yes, tried to tell herself Franco need never know, unless something happened. And nothing did happen.

Robbie had asked if she wanted to try again. She'd told him yes, was thrilled by the thought of it. And then nothing. Franco moved away, Robbie withdrew and she was left alone.

She was tired of being alone. She wanted a life. Franco could give her that. He would love her, perhaps enough for both of them.

But she had to get out of her own way first. Robbie Lewis had to be anywhere but here. So she'd lied, told him there was nothing here for him. He would go, move near his daughter and she would never see him again. Finally, all of her walls could come down and she could start over, finally free to live.

 ** _It took awhile for me to see things as they were,_**

 ** _In the light of truth, it wasn't you, it was me_**

 ** _I let myself get used to drowning in the hurt_**

 ** _Against the wall, who'd have thought, it was me_**

 ** _From there I couldn't even look over my shoulder_**

 ** _I kicked down all the walls and started all over_**

 ** _And I don't paint myself into corners anymore_**

 ** _In a brittle heart of clay, I threw my brushes away_**

 ** _The tools of the trade that chained your memory to me_**

 ** _Are out the door,_**

 ** _I don't paint myself into corners anymore_**

 ** _Trisha Yearwood - I Don't Paint Myself into Corners_**


	24. Chapter 24

**My Favorite Memory**

James had left him sitting alone. His holiday started tomorrow. He would drive up to Manchester the next day and fly with Lyn and her partner the following day. His suitcase was mostly packed, just a few odds and ends to toss in. He needed to clean out the refrigerator, dispose of anything that would spoil while he was away.

All in all, nothing he was in a particular hurry to do. He contemplated calling Laura, see if she would join him in an evening stroll. But he knew the call would go unanswered, just as all of his calls over the last few days had gone.

He'd finally asked one of the tech guys what it meant when a call went straight to voicemail. He hadn't dared to ask James, but with those guys he could frame it as a question about a case. Their answer had been what he'd expected. She was ignoring him.

He'd wracked his brains the night before trying to figure out what he'd done to offend her. Every minute he'd spent with her in the past month had played through his mind and the one thing he kept coming back to was Alison's death and their ill-fated dinner.

Not quite ready to parse through those feelings, he made himself remember other moments with Laura. Happier times, a bench with some chips and how beautiful she'd been. How he still regretted not kissing her when the thought had rushed through his head.

It had been the first time he consciously remembered being swept away by her beauty. Since then, at the most random of moments, she would pop into his head, a different image from throughout their history. Snapshots his brain had taken of her which he hadn't been aware of until he finally admitted to himself he found her beautiful.

He hoped his memory never faded, that he never lost these encapsulated moments of her. There were so many of them but the one he came back to every time was the very first time he'd seen her. The laugh he'd suppressed when she said she was looking for someone named "Mouse". He laughed to himself, missing her suddenly.

He supposed he should just leave it. It wasn't the first time she'd been angry with him. It wouldn't be the last. In the past, it always smoothed over without any conversation about it. Just one day, she would smile that certain smile and he knew he was forgiven.

Two weeks away would have the same effect. He'd come back and they would be back to normal. A niggling doubt pulled at his mind. What if this time was different? What if he'd pushed her away one time too many?

Pulling his mobile from his pocket, he pressed the button to connect to her. One ring, then voicemail. She'd ignored him again. Listening to her voice directing him to leave a message, he took a deep breath and started talking.

 _"Laura, I know you are ignoring me and, honestly, I even understand why. I've pushed you away and perhaps it was one time too many. But as I sit here watching the sun slide over the horizon, I am flooded with memories of you. Memories of times we've spent together playing like a movie in my head. And my favorite is the first moment I saw you. And what I realize is I want millions of more memories of you, of you and me. I leave tomorrow but it's only for a few weeks. And then I will be back here, in Oxford. Because you were wrong, there is a reason for me to stay. You, Laura, you're the reason for me to stay. I'm not going anywhere, Laura._ "

 ** _The first time we met is a favorite memory of mine_**

 ** _They say time changes all it pertains to but your memory is stronger than time_**

 ** _I guess everything does change except what you choose to recall_**

 ** _There's a million good daydreams to dream on_**

 ** _But baby you are my favorite memory of all_**

 ** _Merle Haggard - My Favorite Memory of All_**


	25. Chapter 25

**You're No Good**

 **Posting this a bit early (technically this is Friday's post), a dear friend is traveling very early tomorrow (today her time) and I wanted to make sure she was able to read this before she travels.**

She was driving to London, a weekend away from everything. Franco was in Germany preparing for his move and she'd decided to visit Ellen. She never heard the phone ring. Knowing her own weaknesses, she had let technology be her friend.

Robbie's number was the only number in her phone routed directly to voicemail. It had pained her to do it but she was often her own worst enemy where he was concerned. This way there was no temptation, no moment of weakness if she'd had just a bit too much to drink.

The drive was uneventful and went more quickly than she'd anticipated. She knew Ellen wouldn't be home. It would give her time to get settled before the inevitable drinking started. Letting herself inside, she carried her single bag up the stairs.

Dropping her phone on the bed, she didn't see the icon on the phone telling her she had a voicemail. Instead, she unpacked the dress she'd brought for the next night and carefully hung it in the closet.

Tucking her phone into her pocket, she headed downstairs to open a bottle of wine. Just as she was pouring a glass, she heard the front door open. Reaching above her, she pulled down another glass and filled it before walking into the small entryway.

Ellen smiled at her, "You are the perfect wife." Ellen set her things on the small table, took the glass then pulled Laura into a warm hug. "It's good to see you."

Tears filled Laura's eyes as she returned the embrace. She'd missed her friend, missed the unconditional support. "Me too."

Pulling back, "You OK, Lolo?"

Nodding, she wiped the tears away. "I'm fine, hormonal, but fine."

Linking their arms together, Ellen guided her to the sitting room. "I thought we'd order some takeaway, drink too much and catch up. How does that sound as a plan?"

Dropping onto the sofa, she smiled at her friend. "I think it makes you the perfect husband."

Looking at her friend quizzically, she ruffled her hair. "Let me change. You know where the menus are. Pick something and we will order when I get back." She quickly downed the remainder of her wine, then handed her glass to Laura. "Top us up."

Laura nodded, watching Ellen walked away. She was amazed by the changes in Ellen. Finding someone to love had calmed her, made her more self-assured. She bit at her lip thinking how nice it must feel.

In the kitchen, she refilled their glasses then rummaged through the menus, selecting one. Knowing it would be a few minutes, she called in the order. As she was holding, she remembered she hadn't texted Franco to let him know she'd arrived safely.

Ending the call, she opened a text message and typed in a quick note. " _Made it safely. Expect all future texts to be written under the haze of alcohol. Xo Laura."_

She was just settling back on the sofa when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out, she couldn't help but laugh as she read his message. " _Glad you are safe. I wouldn't be opposed to a few drunken texts, especially of a naughty sort. Xo Franco"_

Smiling to herself, she typed in a quick response, " _Only if you promise to return the favor. Xo Laura._ "

As she was closing the text screen, she noticed the icon for a voicemail. Knowing it could only be from one person, she considered ignoring it. Her finger hovered over the icon. Picking up her glass, she took a deep swallow and hit the button.

 _"Laura, I know you are ignoring me and, honestly, I even understand why. I've pushed you away and perhaps it was one time too many. But as I sit here watching the sun slide over the horizon, I am flooded with memories of you. Memories of times we've spent together playing like a movie in my head. And my favorite is the first moment I saw you. And what I realize is I want millions of more memories of you, of you and me. I leave tomorrow but it's only for a few weeks. And then I will be back here, in Oxford. Because you were wrong, there is a reason for me to stay. You, Laura, you're the reason for me to stay. I'm not going anywhere, Laura._ "

She dropped the phone, felt as if her hand had been burned. "Do you have my glass, Lolo?" She turned, knocking over both glasses of wine.

Ellen closed the distance between them, sitting next to Laura, "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

Laura shook her head, pointing to her phone, lying discarded on the floor. Ellen bent to pick it up. "Listen to the voicemail."

Ellen pressed the play button, then listened. "Bollocks. What a complete arse?"

Laura stared at Ellen, "What…why do you say that?"

Turning back to Laura, anger blooming across her face, "Because he is a complete arse." Holding up the phone, "How dare he? He finally realizes you might no longer be at his beck and call and does this.

Dropping the phone into Laura's lap, she picked up the glasses and went to the kitchen. She opened a new bottle and filled the glasses then grabbed a towel before returning to the sitting room. Setting the glasses on the end table, she mopped up the wine, calmly.

"You don't know him."

Turning to Laura, she smiled kindly. "No, I don't." A smug expression crossed Laura's face. "But I know you when you're with him." She handed a glass to Laura, then sat next to her.

"And who am I with him?"

"You're not you. You're less confident, diffident, mousy. Much like I am when I with Alec."

"Ouch, Els. That hurts."

Taking a sip from her glass, she fixed Laura with a steady gaze. "The truth often does, Lolo."

"Why haven't you ever said anything?"

Ellen shrugged, "Until Stephen, I don't think I noticed. My whole world view of relationships was Alec and others of his ilk. Stephen helped me realize a good partner should make you a better version of yourself." She paused, "I've seen you with Franco. You are better with him."

"You make it sound so simple."

Reaching over, she squeezed Laura's hand. "If you let, it is. Delete that message, forget all about it. And when you get back to Oxford, commit to Franco. Let yourself be loved by someone who values you for you."

Tears filled Laura's eyes, "And what makes you so sure Robbie doesn't?"

Wiping the tears from Laura's face, she smiled. "Because, he treats you the way Alec treated me all of these years." Ellen laughed, "And the worst part, you haven't had the benefit of really great sex." Raising her eyebrow, "Or have you been holding out on me, Lolo?"

Laura couldn't help but laugh, "No, I've not been holding out."

"Then it shouldn't be hard to give him up."

"I don't know how."

"Just accept, he's no good for you. Then accept that Franco is. You broke his heart the first time and yet he's still willing to love you. How many times has Robbie broken your heart?"

The doorbell rang. Ellen stood smiling down at Laura, "That's all I'm going to say about it. The rest is up to you."

The remainder of the evening passed in peace. They drank too much, ate too much and laughed too much. As they staggered up the stairs, they were still laughing. At the top of the stairs, Ellen pulled Laura into a hug, "I love you, Lolo."

"I know and I love you, Els."

"Delete that message, then give Franco a call."

Laura nodded then turned to her room. She changed into her pajamas then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. When she returned to the room, she picked up her phone. Her finger hesitated over the play button for just a second. Pushing it, she listened to his message again.

At the end of it, she scrolled through her phone, finding his contact information. Pressing the call button, she waited for the call to connect.

His voice filled the line and she couldn't help but smile, "I thought I was supposed to get drunken texts, not a drunken phone call."

"I thought you might prefer conversation of a naughty sort in person."

His laughter was low, sexy, "Well this isn't exactly in person."

Suddenly, she knew Ellen was right. She stretched across the bed, laughing. "I bet I can still get the job done."

 ** _Feeling better now that we're through  
Feeling better 'cause I'm over you  
I learned my lesson, it left a scar  
Now I see how you really are_**

 ** _You're no good  
You're no good  
You're no good  
Baby you're no good_**

 ** _I'm gonna say it again  
You're no good  
You're no good  
You're no good  
Baby you're no good_**

 ** _I broke a heart that's gentle and true  
Well I broke a heart over someone like you  
I'll beg his forgiveness on bended knee  
I wouldn't blame him if he said to me_**

* * *

 **The nickname, Lolo, is a bit personal. My sister has a special nickname for me. Only my family and my oldest friend in the world are allowed to call me it. I suspect Ellen and Laura would have something similar.**


	26. Chapter 26

**The Mess I Made**

The next six weeks passed without her seeing him. The first two because he was away on holiday. The next four because she'd fixed the on call schedule so as to avoid him altogether. It seemed easier. If he was out of sight, he could also be out of mind.

It worked. She and Franco grew closer. Closer than they'd been the first time around. He was easy to love, easy to please and eager to please her. It was rare they didn't wind up together most evenings.

It was this habit that resulted in her seeing James. As she spotted him at the counter, she supposed it had only been a matter of time. It wasn't as if she and Franco limited themselves to their own homes. So it was inevitable she would eventually see someone from work. She only wished it had been someone besides James.

Silently she prayed he wouldn't see her, he seemed quite intent on flirting with the young girl. But then he looked into the mirror and she knew the second he spotted her. She didn't know why but a pang of guilt stabbed at her. It wasn't guilt about being with Franco, rather about placing James in the middle. As he turned to confirm what the mirror was telling him, she smiled sadly and waved.

He looked away, almost instantly, turning back to the young woman. She watched him as he quickly paid for his food and left the restaurant. Turning back to Franco, she smiled. It really had only been a matter of time. Putting James out of her mind, she went back to her enjoyable evening.

* * *

James rushed from the restaurant. Images of Laura Hobson with another man on a loop in his head. He knew something was off with her and the Inspector but had assumed it was just one of their occasional spats.

However, now that he thought about it, it had been almost three months since she'd joined them for drinks. More noticeable, he couldn't remember the last time she'd worked a case with them. Before the Inspector had gone on holiday? That was no coincidence. The only way that had happened was if she had planned it.

He had a bigger problem now. Did he actually tell the Inspector or just keep out of it? Not wanting to contemplate the fallout if the Inspector found out, he pushed it away. Chances were she wouldn't be covering any of their cases and it would remain a non-issue.

* * *

Robbie drove up and parked his car. The crime scene tape was already strewn around the area. He almost couldn't believe it when he saw her. It was the first since he'd gone on holiday. His voicemail had gone unanswered. He waved, excited to see her. Her return scowl as she walked away was unexpected. Had he overstepped with the voicemail. Perhaps misinterpreted where they'd been headed. James appeared suddenly at his side, forcing him to push those thoughts away and focus on the murder.

James filled him in on the details and Robbie said. "Alright, you talk to Dr. Ganza and I'll talk to Dr. Hobson." James gave him an off look. "What?"

Panic filled James, to tell or not to tell. He paused for a moment then shook his head. "No, nothing." Then he walked away.

Robbie watched after him for a moment and wondered why James was acting so oddly. For that matter, why was Laura acting so oddly. Two more mysteries to add to his plate. At least if he talked to Laura, he might be able to solve one of them.

Finding her by the body, he watched her for a moment. Her hair was slightly different, longer perhaps. Scared he would be caught staring, he called out, "Laura." She looked up at him with a blank face and then turned back to the dead girl. He knelt down next to her. "Theology student, seems rather…"

"Quaint? Yes, studying God in this city of atheists."

He looked up toward the balcony, "And that was her room?"

Still not really engaging with him, she gave him the facts. "Yep. But there are no signs of a struggle there, no defense wounds to the body, nothing under the fingernails, just the blunt force trauma to the left parietal."

He pointed to the balcony. "Still the fall alone would have been enough to."

Aggravation filled her voice, "Oh don't ask me if it's suicide or murder because I don't know."

He looked at her for a moment, wondering about her brusque manner. "Right. Time of Death?"

"About four hours ago. Give or take an hour."

Once again he looked at her questioningly, "You OK Laura?"

"Me, here with a lovely young body cut off in its prime, happy as Larry."

He nodded, perhaps she was upset by the age of the victim. She'd never handled the death of children particularly well. Changing topic, he stood, "What do you know about this Dr. Ganza?"

She shook her head, "Nothing much, supposed to be brilliant." She stood and moved to step away from the body. Robbie offered his hand to steady her and she ignored it.

He knew he'd been dismissed although he had no idea why so he wandered away. Today wouldn't be the day to solve the mystery of Laura. Best to focus on the case at hand.

* * *

The knock at her door made her look up. Seeing James, she waved him in, "How can I help you sergeant?"

He closed the door behind him then stood near it, unsure how to start. Looking down at his shoes, he dove in, "If you know something which might hurt someone you are close to, do you reveal it?"

"Will it hurt them physically or is this more personal knowledge?"

"No, not physical. More emotional."

"Would this have anything to do with the Inspector and Dr. Hobson?"

James looked up at her, curious as to how, even what, she knew. "What…"

She waved him off, "I sign off on all of the cases, James. Her name hasn't been on one of your cases in over six weeks. Believe it or not, I figured something was off and since I've not received any paperwork informing me of a relationship I gathered it was a falling out."

"I saw her with someone else, on a date."

Jean fought a small smile, "Good for her."

"What?"

She laughed at his shocked expression, "What, did you expect her to wait around forever for him to work out his issues? Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's taken her this long."

"You don't care?"

Shrugging, she went back to her paperwork, "Only in so much as it affects his performance. Is it affecting his performance?"

"He doesn't know. That's what I'm asking you. Do I tell him?"

Looking up at him, she shook her head. "No, you don't. First, it's not your story to tell. Second, it's none of your business. And third, Robbie is a big boy, you can't run around protecting him forever."

"But…"

"No buts, James. You don't want to be in the middle of this, whatever it is. Leave it, let them figure it out on their own. It's their mess, not yours."

* * *

She'd wanted to give them the toxicology results over the phone, thought it would be easier, keep things strictly professional. But Robbie had insisted they would walk over. Perhaps it was for the best. She knew James had told him. It was the only thing which explained his mood. She would pull him aside afterwards, just admit it. He needed to know she was in a relationship.

They stood over Adam's body discussing the drug which killed him. She updated them on all of the pertinent facts. As the moved to leave, she softly spoke to Robbie. "Robbie, can I have a minute?" He stopped and turned back to her. She watched James, making sure he was still walking away. In a soft voice, "I don't want there to be any misunderstanding between us."

"Me neither, is there one?"

She shook her head. "Don't make this any more difficult than it already is. I know Hathaway has said something."

"Well he hasn't actually. But he has been…"

Laura interrupted. "He's an old boyfriend."

He looked at her stunned. Was James the reason she hadn't acknowledged his voicemail? "Hathaway?"

She grimaced, slightly appalled at the thought. "No, Franco. He lived abroad until recently but now he's moved back to Oxford. James saw us together at dinner, night before last."

"Franco? Like the dictator?"

She smiled. "Yes, only this Franco is German. Don't ask."

He turned to walk away. "I won't." He looked back for a brief second. "Thanks for telling me." Then he walked away.

She watched him walk away, thought about following then decided it was for the best. Now he knew, she wouldn't have to go out of her way to avoid him. It was better to have it all out in the open. Turning back to the body, she went back to work, hoping this was the end of it.

* * *

Robbie walked out of the morgue. His mind running wild. His voicemail hadn't made a difference. It had been too late. She'd moved on and he'd missed his chance. He spared a brief moment wondering who this other man was. Then he wondered why James hadn't bothered to tell him.

His mobile buzzed, a text from James. He was needed to question two of the other patients. Trying to clear his head, he made his way to the station. Thoughts of Laura still filling his mind. What kind of name was Franco? An old boyfriend, had his own actions driven her back to him? Or was it just his move back to Oxford? Perhaps Franco was who she really wanted and he'd just been someone to pass the time.

No, he'd seen the hurt in her eyes. That day over Alison's body then at their dinner. Those weren't the looks of a woman marking time. She'd had real feelings and he'd ruined it. There was no one to blame but himself. This was a mess of his own creation. Well maybe Franco was to blame as well.

* * *

Robbie had heard Laura talking around the corner. She was delivering pathology results to one of the surgeons. He'd waited until he was sure the other doctor had walked away before rounding the corner. She looked up at him awkwardly. He held up his hands, "I come in peace. Could I talk you into a walk?"

Not really sure how to answer or if she even had words, she simply nodded. They fell into step and quietly left the hospital.

An awkward silence fell between them. Finally, Robbie broke the impasse, "Went to sea in a sieve."

Thoroughly confused by his words, she looked up at him. "What's that?"

"I went to visit Dr. Ganza and he was reading to his wife."

She nodded, "What's he going to do?"

He shrugged. "Go on reading. He's going to stay with her."

"I spoke to her surgeon. There's no chance of recovery. Absolutely none."

He smiled to himself, pleased she'd asked after one of his cases. "Yeah, I know. He knows. But he's staying."

Briefly, she wondered if, despite his dislike of Dr. Ganza, he might feel some kindred emotion toward him. "Out of guilt?"

He looked at her, "Maybe, more out of love I think."

They stopped walking and looked at one another, "Sorry Robbie."

He snuffed, "You don't have to be. It's not as if we…"

She smiled at him, "Yeah."

"Think Ganza really proves it doesn't it."

"Proves what?"

"That you don't get many chances. You don't want to waste them." They gazed at one another realizing what he is saying. "Can I buy you a coffee, Laura?"

Relief flooded through her, perhaps they could be friends. She smirked, "Coffee?"

"Something stronger?"

She smiled and nodded, "Sounds a bit more like it."

They picked an out of the way pub, a place they were likely to go unnoticed. He brought her a drink then sat beside her. In silence, they sipped their drinks, each unsure where to go from here.

Again, Robbie was the first to speak. "I left it too long. I made a mess of things."

Almost certain of his meaning, she had to know. Had to hear him say it, "Left what, Robbie?"

"Us." He paused, then took a deep breath. "I should have kissed you that night on the bench. Or any of a dozen nights since then. But every time I had the thought, I let my head talk me out of it."

Tears filled her eyes, "Why?"

"Because I was scared, scared we would lose our friendship. And now, I've probably ruined that as well."

She shook her head, lightly touching his arm. "I'll always be your friend, Robbie."

Covering her hand with his, "Except now, I want more. I want all of you, Laura. I was a fool but it was my mistake. I know you are with someone else, I will accept it. I care for you enough to want to see you happy. If Franco makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

She blinked, not really sure what to say. Forcing back the tears, she smiled sadly. "I made a commitment to him Robbie. I made a commitment to myself."

Gently he cupped her cheek, "I know. I'm not asking for anything. I just wanted to say this to you, not a machine. I'm not going anywhere, Laura. I want to be a part of your life in whatever way you will allow. And if friend is my lot in life, then I plan on being the best friend possible."

"I don't know what to say, Robbie."

He shrugged, "Nothing really to say. It's about time I started supporting you the way you have me all of these years."

Looking down at her watch, she realized she was late. "I have to go, I have plans."

He nodded, "Sure, Franco."

She laughed, "No, I have a hair appointment."

Before he could stop himself, he was touching her hair. "It's longer, I like it." She looked up at him, surprised by the touch. All of the moments he'd wanted to kiss her and hadn't played through his mind. Damn it, he wasn't going to miss this chance.

Bringing his other hand up, he gently cupped her face, pulling her to him. He pressed his lips into hers, softly at first then more demanding. When she didn't pull away, he ran his tongue over her lower lip, surprised when she opened her mouth to him.

He never felt her hands on his arms or at his waist as she pulled closer to him. He was swept away by the softness of her lips, the taste of her, the feel of her tongue in his mouth. Time stood still and all he could think about was how happy he was he hadn't stopped himself this time.

Somehow, by mutual agreement, they pulled away, both breathing hard. "I'm sorry." He saw the fear in her eyes and kissed her lightly, "I promised to be your friend and then I did that."

Light, bubbly laughter escaped her. He made a mental note to do what he could to make her laugh like that again and often.

Pressing her head into his, almost nuzzling against him, she sighed. "I have to go."

He nodded, caressing her cheek again. "I understand. I'll see you."

She nodded, "Yes, inevitably."

He watched her walk away, smiling to himself. He probably should've kissed her years ago. But based upon the glazed expression on her face, the wait might well have been worth it.

 ** _Should've kissed you there, I should've held your face  
I should've watched those eyes instead of run in place  
I should've called you out, I should've said your name  
I should've turned around, I should've looked again_**

 _ **But oh I'm staring at the mess I made**_  
 _ **I'm staring at the mess I made**_  
 _ **I'm staring at the mess I made**_  
 _ **As you turn you take your heart and walk away**_

 _ **Should've held my ground, I could've been redeemed**_  
 _ **For every second chance that changed its mind on me**_  
 _ **I should've spoken up, I should've proudly claimed**_  
 _ **That oh my head's to blame for all my heart's mistakes**_

* * *

 **Paramore – The Mess I Made**

 **I hope you've called off the hit squad.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Here You Come Again**

She drove in silence, not even music to keep her company. It was only years of going to the same place that got her safely to the hair salon. In a daze she made it to the chair, barely engaged in small talk, simply stared into the mirror. His words on a constant loop. " _I want more. I want all of you, Laura._ "

All of these years, it was all she'd ever wanted to hear. And now he'd said them, just when she had her life together. Perhaps Ellen was right, he was just toying with her, trying to keep her at his beck and call.

Then she remembered the kiss. She reached up, trailing her fingers across her lip, the one he'd traced with his tongue. That hadn't been planned. He'd kissed her, and she'd responded. Not just responded, had wanted more.

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to push it from her mind. She couldn't do this, not to Franco and not to herself. She had made a commitment and one kiss, no matter how good it had been, was going to destroy what she had. She breathed deeply, willing the memory of his words and the feel of his kiss to the dark recesses of her mind.

"Laura…Laura" Her eyes opened meeting the worried gaze of her stylist. "Did you still want to go shorter?"

Different words played in her head, " _It's longer; I like it._ " Without even thinking about it, she shook her head, smiling. "No, let's leave it longer."

 _ **Here you come again  
Just when I'm about to get myself together  
You waltz right in the door, just like you've done before  
And wrap my heart 'round your little finger**_

 _ **Here you come again  
Just when I'm about to make it work without you  
You look into my eyes and light those dreamy eyes  
And pretty soon I'm wonderin' how I came to doubt you**_

 _ **All you gotta do is smile that smile  
And there go all my defenses  
Just leave it up to you and in a little while  
You're messin' up my mind an' fillin' up my senses**_

* * *

 **Here You Come Again - Ms. Dolly Parton**


	28. Chapter 28

**You've Lost that Loving Feeling**

They walked along the river in silence. The same silence had filled their dinner as well as the drive to the restaurant. He reached down, taking her hand, stunned by how cold it was. "Are you cold, Laura?"

Absently, she shook her head. "Not particularly."

He stopped walking, lifting her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to it. "Your hand is like ice."

She shrugged, "Sorry."

"How about we go home? Start a fire, I can help warm you up."

"That's a nice idea."

He watched her, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. She'd been this way for weeks. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with. He'd hoped it wouldn't happen again. As much as he'd tried to hold on, she'd been slipping away slowly.

He told himself, he could wait. Ride it out, she would come back to him. But looking at her now, he knew it wasn't true. "Who is he, Laura?"

She blinked once, surprise filling her expression. "No one." Her eyes called, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I didn't want this." She looked up smiling sadly, "You have no idea how much I wish I could love you."

"Probably not half as much as I wish you could."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I believe you."

"Franco, you've been everything I could have ever wanted."

"But it isn't enough."

She shook her head, tears flowing freely down her face. "No, it's not."

He reached for her, wiping the tears away. "I love you, Laura. I suspect I always will. But I don't want to be second best."

She nodded, "I do love you, Franco."

A tear fell down his cheek, "You're just not in love with me." Leaning forward, he kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Goodbye, Laura."

 _ **You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips  
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips  
You're tryin' hard not to show it, baby  
But baby, baby I know it**_

 _ **You've lost that lovin' feelin'  
Whoa that lovin' feelin'  
You've lost that lovin' feelin',  
Now its gone, gone, gone whoaohoh**_

 _ **Now there's no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you**_  
 _ **Girl you're starting to criticize the things that I do**_  
 _ **It makes me just feel like crying, baby**_  
 _ **'Cause baby, something beautiful's dyin'**_

* * *

 **Yeah yeah, I know the song is sappy. But they had to break up, didn't they. The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost that Loving Feeling**


	29. Chapter 29

**One and Only**

She'd gone away, the day after she'd broken his heart. It tore at her, she'd desperately wanted it to work this time. But Franco had been right, she wasn't in love with him. She couldn't be, because she was in love with Robbie.

It had taken her the entire first week to accept it, own it. Or perhaps it wasn't to accept she loved him but to get past her own doubts and accept his words and his actions. He had told her how he felt. What more did she need?

The first part of the second week she'd walked the beach trying to figure out what to do. Should she just go back and tell him she felt the same? The first time the idea occurred to her she'd actually laughed out loud. That was when she knew she had to have a plan or she would just blurt it out at the worst possible moment.

His face, after he'd kissed her, had filled her dreams. He'd been so proud of himself, bordering on smug. For two days, she'd thought about just walking up to him and kissing him, in front of everyone. But was she really quite that ready?

What if they'd both made a mistake? What if they really were better as friends? No, it was best they took things slowly. They knew each other as friends, colleagues. Getting to know each other as more should be something they savored. It was this thought that kept her away for the remainder of the week.

By the time she returned to Oxford, she was ready. Ready to start something, ready to be part of his life. She'd returned to work hoping she would see him soon. It hadn't taken long. By day three, they had a case together. She just needed to be patient, bide her time. Knowing there would be a moment, she could be patient.

* * *

Looking at the file on her desk, she knew this might be her moment. Of course, she could just have an assistant deliver it, have it dropped on his desk. Looking at the clock on her desk, she suspected he would be alone. The perfect time to ask him what she needed to ask him.

Picking up the folder, she grabbed her things and made her way to his office. Walking down the hall toward his, she could hear him on the phone. Doubt pulled at the edges of her mind, almost making her change her mind. A deep breath and she peeked around the corner anyway, knocking on the door.

Her heart leapt in her chest when he looked up and smiled. Placing his hand over the phone, "Hang on a minute love."

Smiling up at him, she leaned against the door. "Just thought I'd let you know about the results on Elmo and the toxicology report."

He nodded, "Oh right, is it very complicated?"

Brightening her smile, she shrugged, "I can make it not so." Walking into his office, she pulled at her purple scarf, suddenly very warm. "Ah the lab detected LSD because it was a brain burner of a dosage, absolutely massive. If he hadn't jumped, he'd have been psychotic for the rest of his life."

"Could he have taken that amount by accident?"

Shaking her head, she took another step toward him, "Well it's possible but if anyone had a motive to destroy his mind I'd assume the worst."

Whoever was on the phone, said something drawing his attention, "Yeah, I'm still here love." He looked at Laura, "It's our Lyn."

There was no way she could compete with Lyn. Taking a step back, she smiled at him, "Ah, give her my love."

"Yeah, I will. Yeah, sorry love."

Knowing he was already going back to his conversation, she started backing out of the room. "I'll go."

She missed him motioning for her to stay as she turned. Tears burned at her eyes as she walked away, trying to collect herself. She never saw him come to the door.

* * *

All through the night, she kicked herself. She could have waited for him to finish his call. It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning she realized it wouldn't have mattered. Had she waited, any conversation would have been about Lyn.

She liked Lyn but she didn't want their first real conversation to be about her. And there would have been no way she would have been able to steer the conversation away from Lyn. No, she would have to continue to be patient, look for her moment.

* * *

It took two more days before she found her moment. Each day, she'd made a point to walk reports through the station, hand delivering them. If she caught him at the end of the day, she might be able to have a moment alone with him. What she would say in that moment she wasn't quite sure.

As she was handing out the last of the reports Robbie came around the corner. She turned and saw him. He smiled clearly glad to see her. Without a second thought, she turned and walked toward him.

He met her halfway, "Look sorry about the other night but if you're free now I'm sure James and me will be doing something."

She wasn't quite up to a night with him and James. Somehow, she knew she would blurt something completely inappropriate if it happened. Looking away nervously, "I've got a better idea. Come over next Friday."

He raised his eyebrows, surprised and pleased by her suggestion. "To your place?"

Rolling her eyes, she teased, "No, I was thinking more of the mortuary." His laughter calmed her just a bit. Biting on her bottom lip, "I'll cook."

He smiled at her, a smug smile pulling at his lips, "I'll bring a bottle."

 _ **You've been on my mind  
I grow fonder every day  
Lose myself in time  
Just thinking of your face  
God only knows why it's taken me  
So long to let my doubts go  
You're the only one that I want**_

 _ **I don't know why I'm scared  
I've been here before  
Every feeling, every word  
I've imagined it all  
You'll never know if you never try  
To forget your past and simply be mine**_

 _ **I dare you to let me be your, your one and only  
I promise I'm worthy  
To hold in your arms  
So come on and give me the chance**_

 **You guys don't want to read about the dinner do you? I should just leave it here, right?**

 **Adele - One and Only**


	30. Chapter 30

**Let's Get It On**

Her phone rang as she was putting the finishing touch on dinner. Seeing the number, she smiled. "And why exactly are you calling?"

"Just checking your nerves."

"I'm not nervous, Ellen. And I wouldn't think you would be encouraging this since you advocated me staying with Franco."

Ellen's laugh filled the line, "I knew that would come back to haunt me. You aren't going to hold it against me forever are you?"

"No, you had a good point. But, ultimately, it's always been Robbie."

"You cooked?"

"Yes."

"And for dessert, will you be Marvin Gayeing it?"

Laura shook her head, "What?"

"Think about it, Let's Get It On…" Meeting silence on the other end, she added, "A little Sexual Healing, perhaps?"

"Oh good Lord, you are incorrigible."

"That's not an answer, Lolo."

Shaking her head, "No, I have no intention of sleeping with him tonight."

"I didn't say anything about sleep."

"Ellen, this is practically our first date. I don't want to rush things with him. I want to take our time, get to know each other. I plan on this being my last relationship."

"Lolo, you have known each other for more than a decade. Collectively you have probably spent more time with him than any man you've ever known. This isn't a first date, it's just the first time you've called it a date."

"This from the woman with how many successful relationships?"

Ellen laughed, "One more than you have currently." She paused, "Look at it this way. He's an older man, what can it hurt to try it before you buy."

"I thought you were calling to calm my nerves."

"What's really the matter, Lolo?"

Laura paused, knowing they had reached the crux of the issue. "I've never been in love before."

Ellen smiled, "Just relax, Lolo. He's told you what he wants. Let the night go where it will, including the bedroom or any other room that's convenient."

Smiling, Laura relaxed for the first time since she'd asked Robbie to dinner. "Thanks, Els."

"Call me tomorrow, let me know how it goes."

The doorbell rang, Laura could see him through the window. Her heart was pounding yet she was strangely calm. "What if I just call you on Monday? I plan on being very busy this weekend."

 _ **I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon, woo**_

 _ **Let's get it on, ah baby**_  
 _ **Ah, baby, let's get it on**_  
 _ **Let's love, baby**_  
 _ **Let's get it on, sugar**_  
 _ **Let's get it on, woo hoo**_

The magnificent Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On


	31. Chapter 31

**We Both Know**

He stood outside her door, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. He was nervous, excited. Telling her how he felt, what he wanted, had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. But now, standing in front of her door, it seemed so much easier. Being here, not really knowing what to expect was infinitely harder.

Gripping the bottles tightly, he reached for the button and pressed it. He saw movement inside and suddenly she opened the door. Her shy smile as she opened the door, calmed him immediately.

"I thought you said a bottle."

Laughing he held them up, "I didn't know what you were cooking, so I brought one of each."

A buzzer sounded from the kitchen. She pointed at one of the bottles, "Why don't you open it while I get the bread."

She turned and walked away. He watched her walk as he crossed the threshold, closing the door behind him. Shaking his head, he tried to drive away the thoughts in his mind. It was unrealistic to expect anything but a lovely dinner.

He'd been to her home before so he easily made himself at home opening the wine. He listened to her in the kitchen moving around. Taking both glasses he made his way to the kitchen.

"Your wine, pet."

She turned to him, a small smile playing at the edge of her lips. She wondered if he was aware of the term of endearment, "Thanks."

Touching his glass to hers, "What's for dinner?"

Taking a small sip of her wine, she smiled up at him, "Pasta and garlic bread."

He smiled down at her, "I seem to recall you making fun of me and garlic bread."

"Yes, I did." Taking a step closer to him, "It doesn't mean I'm not willing to exploit a weakness though."

"It seems I am at a disadvantage Dr. Hobson." Seeing her quizzical looked, he leaned down whispering in her ear, "I don't know any of your weaknesses."

She inhaled sharply at the feel of his breath against her skin. Her only thought was his voice in her ear, whispering to her, could quickly become a weakness. "Then I guess you will just have to figure it out. It's good to have goals, Inspector."

Smiling to himself, he straightened, admiring the pretty blush coloring her cheeks. He had a strong feeling he'd just discovered one of her weaknesses. "Can I help with anything?"

Handing him her glass, "Take this and the bottle to the table, then come back for the bread."

He took her glass, allowing his fingers to brush against her skin as he did. He heard her intake of breath and had to stop himself from leaning forward and kissing her. He'd kissed her the last time, and he didn't want to make an assumption that tonight was about anything more than a friendly dinner, the beginning of more perhaps.

Taking a step back, he smiled down at her. "I'll be right back."

She watched him walk away. She didn't want to push him into anything he wasn't ready for. Telling her he wanted a relationship was one thing, falling into bed was something different. The memory of his lips so close to her ear made her shiver. Perhaps he was ready, but wanted a sign from her. She'd thought an invitation to dinner at her home was invitation enough but maybe he needed more.

Turning back to the stove, she began dishing pasta into bowls. She heard him behind her, taking the basket. Without looking back, "I'll be there in just a moment."

He watched her, could feel her unease. Briefly, he wondered if she was uncertain about tonight, about what he wanted, expected. He wanted her, but he knew she might want things to move slowly. He'd had a lot more time to think about what he wanted.

She turned to him, a bowl in each hand, "I hope you're hungry."

Staring down at her lips, he nodded, "Starving."

His answer surprised her. Was he talking about the food or some other hunger? "Good."

She followed him to the table, placing a bowl at each place setting. They both sat, Robbie placed the basket with the bread between them.

He could still feel her unease. Lifting his glass, he smiled at her, "A toast?" She nodded, "To good friends..."

She interrupted, "Becoming better friends."

* * *

Awkward silence settled between them. The only noise in the room was the clinking of the silverware. Finally, Laura broke the silence, "I'm sorry."

Robbie placed his fork on the table and looked at her, "Why?"

"I don't want you to think I expect..."'

"Expect what, Laura."

"This, tonight, to be anything more than dinner." She paused, unsure of what to say. After her call with Ellen, she'd been so certain, now she was afraid. "I mean, I'm OK with taking things slowly."

"Is that what you want?"

"I want you to be comfortable and I'm OK with whatever that means."

"That wasn't an answer to my question, Laura. I asked what you want."

She swallowed, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. "You, I want you. I want us and all of what that encompasses. But, at whatever pace makes you comfortable."

"And what pace would make you most comfortable?" He laughed as he saw her eyes widen, a blush creep across the exposed skin of her chest. Who knew he could shock her?

"I...I just meant..."

He reached across the table, taking her hand. "We've danced around each other for a long time, Laura. I think we are both mature enough to know what we want and when we want it."

"And what do you want?"

Standing, he walked to her side of the table, pulling her up to stand in front of him. One hand moved to caressed her cheek, the other went to her waist, pulling her against him. Lowering his head, he whispered against her lips, "You, Laura. And not just for tonight. I want you for as long as you will have me."

All of her doubts and insecurities disappeared. She pushed up, pressing her lips to his. Suddenly words were longer necessary. As the kiss deepened, she wrapped her arms around his neck and stopped thinking altogether.

The desperate need for air pulled at them both. As they separated, she took his hand guiding him to the one room in her home he'd never seen. He followed her willingly.

At the threshold of her bedroom, he pulled her to him. Her back to his front, he wrapped his arm around her waist before burying his face in her neck. He rumbled against her ear, "I don't think I've ever told you how beautiful you are."

He felt her inhale, a slight gasp as she tried to turn in his arms. He held her fast, tracing his lips along her neck. "Or that the way you smell fills my dreams." She pulled against him, desperate to turn to him. His free hand moved up to cup her breast as his lips continued their assault on her neck. "And I've never told you how many times I've woken from those dreams aching with need for you."

"Robbie..."

His thumb traced her hardened nipple, causing her to gasp, "Say it again."

Need was thick in her voice as she said his name again, "Robbie, please..."

"Please what, Laura?"

"I want you." Finally she felt his arm loosen and she turned in his arms. Her fingers flew across the buttons of his shirt, lips finding naked skin with each button. She pushed the shirt back, desperately trying to get it off. A groan of frustration erupted from her when it caught at his wrists.

He smiled down at her indulgently as he held up his arms so she could unbutton the sleeves. As she finally slid it off him, she tossed it across the room. Smiling up at him, she started backing across the room, beckoning him to follow.

Reaching behind her, she unzipped her dress, then let it fall to the ground. A surge of desire ripped through her at the growl from Robbie when he saw her naked except for a small piece of lace.

He closed the distance between them in a single step. Pulling her to him, he captured her lips in a bruising kiss. She matched his enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around him as she continued backing toward the large bed behind them.

Reaching it, she lifted one leg, easing onto the bed. Her hands reaching between them, nimbly unfastening his belt and trousers. She could feel him toeing off shoes as she pushed his trousers and underwear down in one stroke.

Pulling back from him, she fell onto the bed. Lust filled eyes stared up at him as he stepped out of his clothes and placed a knee on the bed. His hands found the waist of her knickers and started sliding them down. She lifted her hips, helping him.

Tossing her knickers over his shoulder, he crawled up her body, pausing occasionally to kiss her bare skin, delighting in her soft sighs and moans.

He felt her leg wrap around him as her arms pulled at him. Looking up at her, he was mesmerized by the desire in her gaze. "Hard and fast is the pace I want." She kissed him, wrapping her legs around him as he slid into her. Before they started to move, she pulled away slightly and whispered against his lips. "You can pick the pace next time."

 ** _They all say it, all the ones who made it  
Once you find the one you claim it  
But youre gonna have to fight_**

 _ **When I think it back, the things that threw us off track  
We handle like a heart attack cause we didnt see the light  
Uh-uh-uh and ...** **We both know our... own limitations  
Thats why were strong  
Now that we spend some time apart  
Were leading each-other out of the dark,  
Cause we both know** **From this moment, forget what we were scared of  
Say youre never giving up  
Say youll always try to be my helping hand  
Try to be the one who understands  
When things dont go as you planned  
Were still worth it all  
Uh-uh-uh and yeah, now**_

 ** _Gavin Degraw & Colbie Caillot - We Both Know_**

 **This brings us to the end of the plot. Let's just assume they had a very enjoyable evening, with several different paces. Next we return to single shots _._**


	32. Chapter 32

**Dust to Dust**

 **This is dedicated to poorsausage. She recommended the song but told me I could do whatever I wanted with it. I hope I don't disappoint.**

They sat on the bench eating their fish and chips. He looked at her slyly. "Had you booked somewhere nice to stay?"

"Hmm, just a modern little country house hotel with its own grounds and a swimming pool, a gymnasium and a jogging trail. And just to stop you wondering, I booked two rooms."

"Of course." He smirked at her. "It would have been a damn sight more exciting than a quiz weekend though wouldn't it have been." She giggled. "What's the attraction about quizzes, why do people do it?"

She nodded her head, "Compulsive list makers. Clinically speaking they're obsessive neurotics."

Robbie looked around, "Here's a question. If you went on Mastermind, what would be your chosen specialist subject?"

"Hmm, well the thing I know most about is corpses."

Robbie laughed, "That would go down great, barrel of laughs."

Smiling at him, "What about your specialist subject?"

He thought for a moment, "Aside from work and the kids, I haven't got one."

She looked at him, her expression changing from laughter to something else. Something he couldn't quite place. "What about loneliness?"

He stared at her for a moment, tension filled the air. He didn't like the loss of their easy comfort. He smiled, trying to reassure her. He thought she knew it was why he'd asked her, "Passed."

He was surprised when she turned away from him, staring into the darkness. He turned away too, unsure of what had happened. They sat in silence, her question and his answer hanging in the air. As they stared into the night, Robbie thought about the look in her eyes when she'd asked. There had been a sadness he wasn't accustomed to seeing there.

He recognized it from having seen it in the mirror so often. But seeing it in Laura's eyes was somehow more painful. Had she always been sad and he'd never noticed? He wasn't sure why, but he always imagined she lived a full life.

"Laura, how is it possible for you to be here with me?"

"You asked me, that's how."

Her teasing didn't surprise him, she always did. Perhaps her teasing was a deflection. "I know I asked, but how is it you were available? Surely you have somewhere better to be, someone you would rather be with."

She laughed, "Well I would much rather be in modern, country hotel just returning from the opera."

"Maybe that's the better question, how were you available to go away?"

Turning to him, she smiled brightly, "Are you asking why I was available to go away? Or why I would go with you?"

"Either, both."

The sadness returned to her eyes. She tried to cover with a nonchalant shrug, "You asked, I didn't have anything better to do."

He spotted the lie the minute it left her lips. He could almost feel the walls going up, recognized the way she was distancing herself from the conversation. It was something he'd done all too many times.

Another person, someone less familiar with the aching pain of loneliness, would have missed it. He debated with himself, considered just letting it go. The memory of her question helped him make a decision.

Reaching across the bench he took her hand, felt her jerk with the unexpected contact. Twining their fingers together, he slid closer to her until their sides were touching. He lifted their joined hands resting them on his leg.

"Do you suppose we would have needed both rooms?" He felt, more than heard, her intake of breath. He waited, giving her an opportunity to speak. When she didn't, he continued. "I'm not lonely anymore because I have you. And I want you to know if you ever feel lonely, I'm here, always will be."

She raised her free hand, wiping a single tear from her cheek. "How..."

Still not looking at her, he squeezed her hand, "When you asked me, it was like looking in a mirror." He turned to her, "I'm sorry I've never noticed before. More importantly, I'm sorry if I've been the cause."

Tears fell from her eyes as she met his eyes, "I don't know what to say."

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, he smiled. "I'll have to mark this day on my calendar, Dr. Hobson at a loss for words." Relief filled him as she smiled. "You could answer my question."

A spark of mischief flared in her eyes, "On one condition." He nodded and she leaned closer, "Kiss me."

Cupping her cheek, he traced his thumb over her lips before lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers. His intended soft, tender kiss flared into something decidedly more heated in a flash.

Her free hand slipped beneath his jacket, molding to his side as she pulled closer to him. His hand tangled into her hair. They drank from each other. Years of loneliness and longing meeting and balancing into something new, restorative.

Breathless, they pulled apart slightly, foreheads resting against each other, breath mingling. Laura nuzzled against him slightly, sighing as she did, "No, we wouldn't have needed both rooms."

 ** _It's not your eyes  
It's not what you say  
It's not your laughter that gives you away  
You're just lonely  
You've been lonely, too long_**

 _ **All your actin'**_  
 _ **Your thin disguise**_  
 _ **All your perfectly delivered lies**_  
 _ **They don't fool me**_  
 _ **You've been lonely, too long**_

 _ **Chorus:**_  
 _ **Let me in the wall, you've built around**_  
 _ **And we can light a match and burn it down**_  
 _ **Let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flame**_  
 _ **In front of us**_  
 _ **Dust to ...**_

 _ **You've held your head up**_  
 _ **You've fought the fight**_  
 _ **You bear the scars**_  
 _ **You've done your time**_  
 _ **Listen to me-**_  
 _ **You've been lonely, too long**_

 _ **Chorus:**_  
 _ **Let me in the wall, you've built around**_  
 _ **And we can light a match and burn them down**_  
 _ **And let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flames**_  
 _ **In front of us**_  
 _ **Dust to Dust...**_

 _ **You're like a mirror, reflecting me**_  
 _ **Takes one to know one, so take it from me**_  
 _ **You've been lonely**_  
 _ **You've been lonely, too long**_  
 _ **We've been lonely**_  
 _ **We've been lonely, too long**_

 **Civil Wars - Dust to Dust**


	33. Chapter 33

**Complicated**

Robbie watched James and Fiona embrace in her apartment. He smiled as he realized that Laura had been right. In her own way, she was often a better detective than he was. She'd seen what had been right under his eyes. In a matter of seconds, she had discerned something he'd completely missed.

He would never tell her, of course. She was too bloody smart for her own good sometimes. No, it was best he kept this secret to himself. It wasn't his only secret where Laura was concerned.

His thoughts lingered on the walk they'd taken. She'd looked nice, dressier than usual but still very comfortable. It was one of the things he liked about her. There was an effortless elegance to her. She never seemed to be trying too hard.

If he closed his eyes, he could feel her hand on his shoulder. The almost collegial comfort she'd offered when he'd realized what he'd missed about James and Fiona. She had no idea what her touch did to him. How much he both longed for it and dreaded it?

Touch, what had she said about touch? Something pulling at the edges of his mind. Closing his eyes, he played the conversation back in his mind.

 _"Innocent on cracking form, I gather."_

 _"Poor Soul. She's been pining ever since her precious Fiona made rank."_

 _Laura smiled up at him, "The young protégé." Tapping his shoulder lightly, "You used to be one of those."_

 _"Not in that way I wasn't."_

 _They stared at each other, a light smile playing at the edges of her pretty mouth. Walking for a few seconds, she'd asked him a question he hadn't expected. "Attractive, McKendrick?"_

 _"Who am I to judge?"_

 _"Ah, come on. Marks out of ten. A crudely biological eight? A traffic-stopping nine?"_

 _Unsure where her question was coming from, "What is this?"_

 _She looked away, "The illegal trade in hunch and hearsay. It's called gossip."_

 _Shrugging, thinking Fiona paled in comparison to her. "I'd give her a seven."_

 _Her nose crinkled up as she looked at him incredulously. "Would you? Seven?"_

 _"Objectively speaking, fair enough." He paused for a moment, looking down at her, "Not my type at all. Why do you ask?"_

 _"Well the other night, when our leader announced McKendrick's promotion your long-faced sergeant…"_

 _"He's always long-faced."_

 _"An equine nine?"_

 _He wasn't sure but he didn't like her rating James quite so high. "He's a free man, not a number. Anyway, Hathaway has his reasons. He sees his contemporaries rising through the ranks, and thinks 'Why not me'"_

 _She'd laughed at him, he could hear the teasing in it. "When we came to say good-bye, do you remember? You and McKendrick air-kissing like a couple of tarts in an operetta? Garlic bread notwithstanding?"_

 _He rolled his eyes, "I was just being polite, as I would with any seven."_

 _"Yeah, but what did Hathaway do? Hug? Kiss? Mexican wave?"_

 _He shook his head, still not understanding he point, "I don't know I…"_

 _"Nothing. That's what. Two colleagues worked together for years. Absolutely no bodily contact. Now why would that be Detective?"_

 _Looking down at her, her arm brushing against his, "He'd have told me. Wouldn't he?"_

She'd reached up and touched his shoulder at that moment. Her hand had lingered both a solace and a form of torture. The touch lit a fire in him one he'd thought long extinguished. There were times he thought her touch meant something more. He imagined her touch lingered because she was trying to tell him something about her feelings through it.

But in the context of her words, clearly it had only been meant to soothe his wounded feelings. He had reached a point where he felt everything he felt for her was on open display. James had made some cheeky comments about their relationship.

Funny, Laura had seen James' feelings for Fiona. James had seen his feelings for Laura. It seemed everyone around him could see things he couldn't. Who knew? Perhaps Laura could even see his feelings but didn't share them. Maybe that had been the message behind her touch.

She was comfortable touching him, even around others because she didn't have feelings for him. So it didn't matter if anyone saw, it didn't mean anything. It all scared him, how he felt about her. Not knowing how she felt about him. Fearing one day she might just tell him she didn't feel the same.

Walking away from Fiona's, he shook his head. Why did it have to be so complicated?

 _ **I'm so scared that the way that I feel  
Is written all over my face  
When you walk into the room  
I wanna find a hiding place**_

 _ **We used to laugh, we used to hug  
The way that old friends do  
But now a smile and a touch of your hand  
Just makes me come unglued**_

 _ **It's such a contradiction  
Do I lie or tell the truth?  
Is it fact or fiction  
Oh, the way I feel for you?**_

 _ **It's so complicated  
I'm so frustrated  
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away  
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay**_

 ** _Should I say it_** **  
** ** _Should I tell you how I feel?_** **  
** ** _Oh, I want you to know but then again I don't_** **  
** ** _It's so complicated_**

 **I've always written the story that Laura was in love first and then Robbie came around. What if he was in love first and she was the ambivalent one. Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Complicated**


	34. Chapter 34

**What I'd Give**

 **Same episode but a different scene and a different twist.**

She watched him eat yet another piece of garlic bread. As he licked his fingers he caught her watching. "What?"

Looking down at the bread, "I see you're on a pull tonight."

"Every man has his weakness."

What a ridiculous weakness to have, why couldn't she be his weakness? Smirking she recited a list of better weakness, "Yeah, fast cars, single malts, nurses with starched white cotton but garlic bread?"

Robbie looked at James who has been watching the exchange with amusement. "And she calls herself a woman of the world."

A thrill ran through her at the extended eye contact. Surely he knew she was flirting, knew she'd allowed herself an extra glass of wine in hopes he would offer a ride home. A ride which she hoped would end with breakfast in the morning.

Innocent tapped her glass, ending the moment as they all looked down to her. She yammered on about a promotion someone was getting. Laura looked away, taking the moment to watch Robbie. It wasn't Robbie who kept her eye though.

A strange look on James' face drew her attention. Turning her head slightly, she followed his gaze. He was staring at the person in question. She knew that look, James had feelings for Fiona McKendrick. As the idea of it being unrequited passed through her mind, Fiona looked back at James. No, definitely not unrequited. She wondered if Robbie knew.

As quickly as she thought it, she discounted the theory. Of course, he didn't know. If he hadn't sussed out how much she cared for him in over all of these years, he would never figure out James.

* * *

Dinner was over, everyone was gathering to leave. In the past, she had always been the first to leave, not daring to linger. The pain of him not inviting her on for drinks was too much. Tonight though, she had decided to force the issue.

She'd almost laughed when he'd commented on her last glass of wine. Hoping he'd offer to take her home. He hadn't at that moment, so here she was, lingering, making small talk with Innocent of all people.

The woman of the hour approached him. Was he really leaning over kissing the woman? In all the years she'd known him, he'd never kissed her, even her cheek. Even through her annoyance, she'd noticed the odd interaction with James.

She was just about to step forward, give Robbie another chance to offer a ride. But he turned away, a quick word to James and they were gone. It hadn't even occurred to him to see how she was getting home.

Shaking her head as she pulled out her mobile to call a taxi, she wondered when she'd become this pathetic. A few years ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about Robbie Lewis. She wouldn't have cared about getting a ride home from him, wouldn't have been so desperately plotting.

Now all she wanted in life was for him to notice her as more than a colleague, as more than the girl Friday who brought him his reports. She wanted him to notice her as a woman. She wanted him. It was that simple. And somewhere along the way she'd decided to play it safe and wait for him to come to her.

As she slipped into the taxi, a tear slid down her cheek. She hadn't known it would be this difficult. The problem with knowing what you wanted was that you wanted it right now. She'd give anything to have him right now. Closing the taxi door, she gave the driver her address and closed her eyes. She could see it all when she closed her eyes, all the things she wanted for him, from him.

 ** _What I'd give to bring you flowers  
What I'd give to get you alone  
What I'd give to bring a smile across your face  
What I'd give to take you home_**

 ** _What I'd give to make you coffee  
Find out how you like your eggs  
Wrapped around you in the mornin'  
A tangled lace of arms and legs_**

 ** _What I'd give to let you love me  
Find out everythin' that brings you joy  
Wake up to your face above me  
I'd be that girl and you could be that boy  
Find out why that feelin' is  
Oh, what I'd give, what I'd give_**

 ** _What I'd give to take you dancin'_**

 ** _What I'd give to make you mine  
If you got questions, I got answers  
And my answer's yes to you every time_**

 **I've filed away the idea of Robbie being in love with Laura for another story.** ** _What I'd Give - Sugarland_**


	35. Chapter 35

**Say Something**

 **Mild spoiler alert. While this hasn't happened, it does allude to the trip they are planning and some unease I felt in last week's episode.**

Robbie opened the front door, dropping his keys in the bowl on the table. He could hear soft music playing, smell something cooking in the kitchen. He didn't see Laura, suspected she was upstairs packing. Between packing their things for the trip and packing the house, it was all she did in her spare time.

He poured a glass of wine and stepped outside into the garden. It was odd not to see something growing either in a planter or in the small garden she had put in. In preparation for their leaving, she had pulled it all out. They were only going for six months but somehow it felt longer.

"Hello you, I didn't hear you come home."

He covered her arms with his, comforted by her touch. "I'm only just. Figured you would make it down in a few minutes."

She took his glass taking a deep sip. "You've just enough time to change. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."

Kissing her on the top of the head, "I'll be right back." Nodding toward the glass, "Why don't you top me off and get one of your own?"

She smiled after him as he walked away. Briefly, she wondered what was bothering him. As she was winding down her case load, she hadn't been as involved with his cases. She'd ask him about it at dinner. Walking inside, she topped off his glass and pulled one down for herself.

Quickly she prepared plates for both of them then carried them to the table. Robbie was coming down the stairs as she set them down. Looking over to him she noticed his smile didn't quite make it to his eyes.

As he sat, she reached for his hand. "Are you alright?"

Nodding, he placed his napkin in his lap. "Just tired, I didn't sleep well."

"Let's make it an early night." When he nodded, she lightly stroked his cheek. They ate in silence for a few minutes. "I talked to my niece today. She's doing well. She's excited about us coming to visit. Said she went to the cottage we're renting and it's ready for us."

He nodded, "That's nice."

"I've started planning things we can do. Is there anything you specifically wanted to do? I can add it to the list."

Robbie set his fork on the edge of his plate. "Laura, I'm not sure."

She smiled at him, "Not sure of what?"

"Not sure if we should go."

"What?"

"Six months is a long time. I'm not sure about being away from our Lyn and Jack for so long."

"Robbie, they're already booked to meet us in Australia to see Patrick. You'll end up spending more time with them on this trip than you do normally."

"I just don't think it's a good idea. Things are so unsettled."

Picking up both of their plates, she turned away from him, fighting tears. "What things? We've talked about this for ages. You said yourself you wanted to travel while we were still young enough to enjoy it. What is this really about, Robbie?"

"I told you, things aren't settled. I'm worried about James."

Dropping both plates into the garbage can not caring when they broke. She turned to him, "James? I wasn't aware James was part of this relationship. I wasn't aware James had a say in what we do."

"Laura, it's not like that."

"Isn't it? You went back to work, never asked me how I felt about it because James needed you. Now, when we have the trip of a lifetime planned, you want to cancel because James needs you."

"You know what he's going through."

She nodded, the tears falling down her cheeks. "Yes and he's a grown man. It's time he started acting like one."

He reached for her hand, "You can still go. I can change my flight and I'll meet you in Australia with the kids."

She pulled her hand back. "No, that won't be necessary."

"Laura, there's no need for you to change your plan."

"I'm not. I will be on that plane on Saturday, with or without you. But know this, if I'm on that plane alone, then I expect to return in six months to an empty house."

"Laura…"

"No, Robbie. I waited for years for you to be ready. I've been patient, giving. I have loved you enough for both of us, done whatever you've wanted. And now, I am asking you to do something for me. It's the only thing I've ever asked you to do beyond loving me."

"I do love you."

"I know you think you do. But just once, I want you to choose me." Seeing him about to argue, she raised her hand. "It would be different if Lyn needed you or Patrick. But you are choosing James over the woman you claim to love."

"Laura, don't do this."

She shook her head, walking past him. At the foot of the stairs, she turned to him. "The way I see it. I'm not doing anything. It's your choice, Robbie. It's either join me or say goodbye. I love you, I suspect I always will but I want someone who chooses me."

 ** _Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one if you want me to  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_**

 _ **And I... am feeling so small**_  
 _ **It was over my head**_  
 _ **I know nothing at all**_  
 _ **And I... will stumble and fall**_  
 _ **I'm still learning to love**_  
 _ **Just starting to crawl**_

 _ **Say something, I'm giving up on you**_  
 _ **I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**_  
 _ **Anywhere I would've followed you**_  
 _ **Say something, I'm giving up on you**_

 _ **And I... will swallow my pride**_  
 _ **You're the one that I love**_  
 _ **And I'm saying goodbye**_

* * *

 **Say Something - Great Big World.**

Sorry to be so melancholy but I don't like the way these last two episodes are shaping up. This better not happen or I will be hunting down some writers.


	36. Like I'm Gonna Lose You

**Like I'm Gonna Lose You**

The empty seat taunted her, a bitter reminder of her loss. She hadn't really believed he wouldn't go. Deep inside, she'd been certain he would see reason in the end and join her on the plane. Instead, he'd taken her to the airport, kissed her lightly on the cheek and waved goodbye.

She'd pretended not to care, acted as if everything was fine between them. But deep down, she knew it was the end. They might not have said it, acknowledged the gaping chasm between them. But this was something they couldn't come back from. It didn't end with a bang but with a whimper.

There would be a few phone calls, perhaps a letter or two and then nothing. She would come home and he would have moved out. They would have an awkward dinner and then put it all behind them. She would smile, pretend like it didn't matter, pretend her whole world wasn't over.

The lighting on the plane changed, went from bright to a shimmery haze. It was as if the lighting was attempting to match her mood. She felt the tear trailing down her cheek, attempted to wipe it away but felt as if she were pinned in place.

There was a weight over waist, warm and heavy. Her eyes opened, the surroundings unfamiliar. Her heart pounded, it was his smell which told her it had all been a dream. She turned in his arms, desperately needing to see him, touch him.

His face wasn't its normal relaxed mask. There seemed to be a tension around his eyes. His arm tightened around her waist pulling her even closer. Gently, she stroked his cheek.

* * *

The explosion was deafening. He and James were thrown backwards from the blast. As he fell to the ground all he could think about was Laura. Her face over the past few days.

For a moment, he couldn't hear anything, was certain he was dead. Wondered if it might be easier on her if he was. Then she would never know of his betrayal, never know he couldn't go away, couldn't leave the job, James, everything he knew. Even for her, he couldn't do it.

He hoped she didn't give up the way he had. Hoped she didn't dwell in the purgatory he'd allowed himself to wallow in for all of those years. A purgatory he would still be in but for her. Her smile swam in front of him, all of those hundreds of smiles given so freely over the years. Each one serving to heal his wounded psyche until finally all he could see was her smile.

From somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he could hear his name. Felt a hand on his cheek pulling him back to the here and now. "Robbie"

* * *

"Robbie."

He opened his eyes, she was there, smiling gently. There was an edge of concern on the outer corners of her eyes.

"Hello, love."

"Bad dream?"

He nodded, "Nightmare. I was dead and all I could think about was how if I died, you would never know how I had betrayed you." Pressing his forehead into hers, "I'm sorry I woke you."

Shaking her head, she kissed him, "I had a nightmare of my own." At his questioning look, "You didn't get on the plane, you stayed behind. I knew it was the end. We waited so long and it all ended…"

Unable to find his voice, he kissed her. His arms pulled her even more tightly to him. This could have all ended, in the blink of an eye. A bomb could have killed him; he could have broken her heart with a careless decision. They would have run out of time and he wasn't through loving her, not by a long shot.

One would think having lost Val so suddenly, he would never take love for granted again. And, yet, he almost had. Now he knew better and no matter what might come, he was going to love her.

* * *

 _I found myself dreaming  
In silver and gold  
Like a scene from a movie  
That every broken heart knows_

 _We were walking on moonlight  
And you pulled me close  
Split second and you disappeared  
And then I was all alone_

 _I woke up in tears  
With you by my side  
A breath of relief  
And I realized  
No, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _In the blink of an eye  
Just a whisper of smoke  
You could lose everything  
The truth is you never know_

 _So I'll kiss you longer baby  
Any chance that I get  
I'll make the most of the minutes  
And love with no regrets_

 _Let's take our time to say what we want  
Here's what we got before it's all gone  
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

Meghan Trainor - Like I'm Going To Lose You Lyrics


End file.
